Recondite

Awesome Year

2012-01-02T01:33:00.001+08:00

Happy New Year!

2011 was awesome. Despite having low moments, the year was very eventful and there were many high points.

In January, I had my very important surgery that changed my life forever. It was an experience that I never wanted to repeat, yet I am glad I made the decision to proceed with the surgery. Life changed for the better, but the pain... never again.

In March, I ORDed. This was probably the best moment in my entire life, the culmination of 2 years of waiting. To be a free man once again, to say goodbye to my duties and responsibilities. All the moments spent thinking, waiting, agonizing; I did it.

In April, I turned 21. The coming of age, the rite of passage. I had a fabulous party thanks to all my loved ones, who surprised me with such a bash. It was a night to remember, a memory etched forever. Also, I celebrated the one year anniversary with my special someone. We pulled through despite our differences, see how far we came one year ago. Thank you for the memories.

In July, I started school again. To be a student once more, to be educated, I am grateful. New environment, new friends, new journey to my career and future. It was a difficult choice, but I never regretted choosing this field.

I held several jobs, widening my experiences and I enjoyed it, especially my stint in Showtec. Although work was hard and pay was meagre, I appreciated being able to do something I like and being given the chance to see for myself how the industry functions. I am also grateful for working at Career Fair, which guided me to making the right decision regarding my education and future. If not, I would have made a grave mistake and waste my years away.

I also had a shot at attempting my dream; although it did not work out, it was still an experience to learn from.

However, I lost a relative to cancer. Although we didn't communicate much, she was always there throughout my life and played an important role. Now that she's gone, life isn't quite the same anymore. You will be missed.

Thank you to everyone who came into my life in 2011, who created special memories with me, who made 2011 amazing.

Resolutions remain the same, year after year, for goals do not have to be attained; they merely set a target for you to aim for: to be a better person, to manage my finances and to achieve my dreams.

New year, new life!

2011-11-06T03:25:00.001+08:00

Tweettweet!

2010-04-26T01:10:00.001+08:00

Blog closed temporarily, moved to Twitter. Check Twitter and Facebook for updates on my life. xoxo

mistakes

2010-03-06T02:20:00.002+08:00

so much I want to say but I can't say it here.

I am truly my father's son.

I would like to thank each and everyone who shown concern and/or prayed for my dad. The operation was successful, he is on his way to recovery now.

Thank you very much.

WONDER GIRLS

2010-03-03T22:30:00.001+08:00

GUESS WHAT.

WONDER GIRLS ARE COMING TO SINGAPORE!

YES. THAT'S RIGHT.

MY DREAM IS COMING TRUE. MY PRAYERS ARE ANSWERED.

AHN SOHEE! I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU! <3

BROWN EYED GIRLS!

2010-03-03T22:27:00.002+08:00

I went to watch Brown Eyed Girls concert at Zouk over the weekend.

IT WAS AWESOME.

went with ruth, lihuang and rina. thanks to ruth for the cheap ticket! (if I had the balls to enter the contest, I would have gotten 2 free tickets and brought along a friend too... damn.)

omg, I finally saw korean artists live, and Brown Eyed Girls to boot. Miryo was awesome! (Y)

The acrobatic dance group at the start was quite cool too! kinda makes me tempted to learn breakdancing... haha!

There was this guy called Lee An, no idea who he was though. I'm quite surprised the crowd actually treated him quite nice, though I'm sure everyone was just waiting for BEG to come back again. HAHA.

I want to go Seoul'dOut this year!

internal angst

2010-03-03T22:25:00.001+08:00

everyone has issues. sometimes you wish someone'll be there to share your burden with you, even if they can't do anything, just to hear you out, to feel someone cares.

I hate this vicious cycle; I only think when I'm depressed and down, wallowing in self pity. Then an epiphany strikes me, I see the answer and I'm at peace again, nothing troubling me. then I stop thinking. but the problem isn't solved, and I'm sure the same scenario will happen all over again.

I can't blog as fast as i think, and I forgot more than half of what I thought already. damn.

I'm always doing things st the wrong time.

personal contentment or greater good?

human, weak.

social creature, hardwired, vs solitude eccentric

heehee

2010-02-26T14:07:00.000+08:00

cny.

2010-02-21T11:15:00.002+08:00

Festivals are starting to lose meaning, to me. even Chinese New Year. It just becomes another annual gathering where people gather around, show their faces, collect red packets, exchange small talk, and then leave. I always looked forward to it when I was kid, partly for the red packets and the food, partly because of the whole hype about it. It just looks like another public holiday to me now.

It was okay though, meeting up with cousins and the little gambling. The best part must have been the food; awesome home cooked food compared to the same mass-cooked food I eat in camp. I ate it for a year only and I'm sick of it. I wonder how did my dad survived the past 30 years.

The week in camp after CNY was relaxing though; almost the whole company was empty cause they all took leave. I didn't take any. Must have been one of my most relaxing days in camp, almost felt like a chalet.

This weekend has been a wasted one. so boring while the whole world is so happening out there. damn.

mental block.

Murphy's Law

2010-02-07T14:17:00.004+08:00

shag weekend last week:

fri - phuture

sat - morn run, night chompchomp

sun - SHINee's autograph session

this week:

7 extra.

motherfuck. I am the epitome of unluckiness.

shall blog in detail next time. no time.

Sticky Chewy Chocolate

2010-01-23T15:30:00.000+08:00

A journey back to IMM brings back many memories.

It's been 2 years since I've last been here, but the image of my last trip haunts me. Nothing to do with IMM though; there are some things are are just hard to put behind you. Thank goodness the last time I was here, it was only for a few times and your booth isn't here anymore, so not much damage done.

Apart from the rather out of place location (don't worry, thy have shuttle bus at 10min interval from Jurong East MRT Station) and the sweltering hot weather (oh God), IMM is actually quite a nice place. There are many retail stores of all sorts and most importantly, many food outlets!I headed to Swensen's to treat myself to my fave Sticky Chewy Chocolate as I was in a bad mood. (I was also waiting for my friends.) The last time I've been to Swensen's must have been last year, with Kynaston, Aloysius and Jun Jin at Tampines. It was a good time with the guys.

I remember fondly my first memories of Swensen's. It's been around for as long as I remember; I grew up with it. My first recollections of Swensen's was at the Changi Airport outlet. Whenever I went to the airport when I was a kid, I'll always go to the viewing gallery to look at planes and play at the indoor playground, which was next to Swensen's. Like all kids, I adore ice cream and the ice cream counter will always attract me. Sometimes my mum will be nice to us and bring

us into the restaurant for a meal. The ice cream was always the best part.Looking back, this ice cream has grown with me and holds many memories.

I wonder if the outlet at Changi Airport is still there.

What did the strawberry say to the blueberry?

2010-01-17T18:20:00.004+08:00

It has been an excruciatingly slow week, even though I booked in on monday.

I live in extremities, once again.

extremely happy weekends, extremely sad weekdays.

not a very good trade-off, huh.

better than nothing though.

The power of K-pop.

one afternoon, I was sleeping in bunk while the organising committee for unit anniversary celebrations were having a rehearsal in the parade square. suddenly, I heard SNSD's Gee playing loudly on the speakers and I jumped up immediately, fully awake. works better than "fall in now," huh. I was so awake I couldn't go back to sleep. you can't help but marvel at the power of k-pop.

Unit Anniversary Celebrations

they were playing popular english hits on the speakers when leon and I were waiting or k-pop.

Keith: "aiya, they won't play Sorry Sorry de lah. Suju not so popular in here."

(next song started to play: Sorry Sorry -Super Junior)

Leon: *starts dancing*

Keith: "wtf!?

next song confirm is Nobody!"

(next song: "you know I miss you baby, and I will never change...")

Keith: *punches into the air*

"YES!

"I bet next song confirm is Gee! Suju, WG, next one confirm SNSD!"

(next song: "aha! listen boy, my first love story...")

Keith: "I knew it!"

Leon: *starts to dance again*

Jonathan: "Keith, what's the next song?"

Keith: "Abracadabra by Brown Eyed Girls!"

(next song: random english hit again)

Keith: *disappointed, not high anymore*

Jonathan: "WRONG!"

and while I was playing captain's ball, they decided to surprise me by playing Bo Peep Bo Peep. I was so excited when I heard the familiar melody and was stuck in between doing the awesome butt dance or play my game. I ended up shouting "bo peep bo peep bo peep bo peep bo peep bo peep bo peep ah~" in the middle of parade square, with Leon giving me the "wtf?" look.

epic fail.

I had the best meal in my 10 months of service, from none other than SFI (Singapore Food Industries), the same company that operates our cookhouses and prepares our combat rations. It only shows that SFI is capable of delivering quality food; it just depends on how much is your budget. Fried rice, fried noodles, vegetables, chicken wing, dory fish fillet in tomato sauce, chicken wing, prawns (de-shelled and chunky), roast duck (wow) and mussel with cream cheese (wtf). I had crap food for my graduation parade and they told me it was $10 per head then. This lunch must have cost at least $25 per head, based on SAF standards. oh, and guess who served me the food? CO, Bn2IC, RSM, OCs, CSMs, S1, S3, S4. awesome.

most awesome: half day off.

went out with the usual gang to celebrate taksheng's 21st birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TAKKY!

hope you enjoy your day!

the start of adulthood, of responsibility and control of your own fate and destiny.

all the best in what lies ahead!

went prawning. for the first time. i never cease to amaze myself, cause the 5 of us spent 3 hours catching 4 prawns. well, there's always a first time, right. right?

it was rather cool sitting there, chilling on a saturday afternoon with awesome company and listening to music. the simple pleasures in life. gave away the prawns because we were going town. who brings a bag of dying prawns around town?

went for dinner at the pizza place at raffles city. tried my first calzone! always wanted to try it. kinda disappointing, maybe i had too much hopes for calzones, but it was still not bad. the pizzas were great though. drinks were another story, but that's normal, right. i don't mind going back again. played zhong zi mi ma. where got ppl choose 50 to be the number, and choose twice one. worse, twice kena same person. thanks la taksheng. -.-"

tak's gf came to surprise him! abit fail leh, i saw her walk past the shop. hahahaha. went to play games at esplanade after that! i think that place holds a lot of memories for me now. the games were kinda funny, but the 21 kisses thing really abit fail. hahahas. great ideas though! i had no part in planning anything, so great job ppl for making it an enjoyable day + night. =))

guard duty next week, and I might be confined over the weekend for some stupid shit. **** you army. guess i wont be online for some time.

why does book out time pass so fast and book in time pass so slow. sian.

so many things I want to do, so little time and money.

moolah moolah come to me pls.

I am temporarily leaving this post like this, because like always I am rushing for time to book in. sucks living in hougang when your camp is in sungei gedong. 2 hours of traveling time. another 2 hours when book out. 4 hours of your precious book out time gone. im depressed all over again.

there's so many things i want to do, but im all leaving it in a mess. for now. like this haphazard and ugly post. whatever happened to my mastery of the written language.

love/hate relationship.

love spending time with you, hate missing you.

not saying anything else, since the internet is never private.

so long as you're happy. (:

"We havin too much fun today, were not thinking about tomorrow. - Johnny Dillinger"

sohee <3

2010-01-11T02:08:00.004+08:00

Klub Party!

2010-01-11T01:35:00.003+08:00

KLUB PARTY WAS AWESOME!

I have been looking forward to it the whole week! NS was really depressing this week and life was really bleak, so my only motivation was this!

I reached there rather early, and as usual, everyone was late. -.-" went to eat with jj first cause I didn't wanna drink on an empty stomach. saw yanlin and friends. in the end most of the people turned up except 2 of yy's friends, so I had 2 extra tickets. I met weixiong and denise of SGWonderfuls inside the club. the party didn't really start until 7+pm.

the drinks were horrible! I had a jug of vodka orange (which everyone said tasted like orange juice only), 1 flaming lambo, 3 housepours and I'm still awake. on hindsight, should have tried the K-bomb or something.

THEY CUT AWAY MY SOHEE DANCE DURING "TELL ME." I WAS GONNA DO THE "TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME YOU, WANT ME WANT ME WANT ME TOO~" DANCE THEN THEY CUT IT AWAY. =(

and they played Nobody as the last song! YES! (but I waited 2 hours for this song. =/ )

most of the songs I expected them to play came out!

after the party ended at 10pm, a house band came on and the floor *POOFED* everyone disappeared so fast! as what sherman said, it's a miracle DXO is still open. hahas! we stayed for the ladies night but it was really pretty disappointing.

went to celebrate weihui's birthday! 20 NUGGETS! HAHAS!

today

went to serangoon gardens to officially celebrate weihui's birthday. 20 nuggets again! hahahas. nuggets madness. ate at ministry of steak, which is practically just another aston's. don't bother asking what's the difference, cause the waitress told me "there are a lot of aston's around but there's only one ministry of steak." done.

went to sing k-garden! kpop madness again. I'm kinda on kpop overload this two days.

here's a shout out to weihui: HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY! STOP LYING TO YOURSELF THAT YOU'RE 18TH AND JIAYOU IN ALL YOUR ENDEAVORS KAYS!

here's a blog post by someone who went to klub party too!

http://tiffanykimchiland.blogspot.com/2010/01/kclub-party-were-you-there.html

saw something I shouldn't have seen today. =(

idontknowwhybutamazinglyifeelhappyeverytimeiseeyou.

justsoyouknow.

Sacred gift of choice.

2010-01-11T00:23:00.002+08:00

I am very agonized by national service, inefficiency in general, religion and cause and effects.

"There are some things that are decided by God, for the rest, we are given the sacred gift of choice." this was what I learnt after watching a show the other day. I spent a day pondering about choices and effects.

why do I feel so sad in ns?

what can I do to make it better?

If I am in a situation because of the choices I made, I can only blame myself. but if I am suffering because I landed in a situation not by my own choices but by the influence of others, I can only suffer in silence.

Take a look at national service. there are people who enjoyed theirs, why must mine be such an agony.

Most of my friends went to slack companies and had a very easy time, I went to Cougar instead. I don't blame this, because it was by my own actions. I went to Cougar because I wasn't fit. I don't regret being in Cougar either; I had a great buddy, became fit, learnt a lot of important values there.

(though it would have been better if I had a slack time like most of my friends, but again maybe then I wouldn't have learnt what I have learnt today.)

I didn't went to command school, though I don't know this was because of my actions or others'. I do know I didn't end up in Engineer formation by choice. 12 formations, you had to pick Engineers,the worst of all, for me?

(okay, at least Engineers have its own perks.)

Then, of so many companies, I had to end up in Bravo, the most fucked up one.

so I spend 2 years of my time, doing things that are absolutely useless in my future life in great details for nothing, putting on a show that nobody watches while my friends learn useful stuff that can help them in their future life, or really do their duty to serve the nation, either to guard our country or help it's people.

I want to serve my nation too, but I want to do something useful, not put on a show.

If I'm posted to something like kynaston or weixun, at least I'm operational, I'm really defending my motherland.

If I'm posted to SPF or SCDF, I'll be serving my fellowmen, maintaining peace and order in my country.

why?

I don't have a say in all these, I'm here not because of my own actions but because I'm just unlucky.

why am I so unlucky?

Just my luck.

Also, if God was all-powerful and cares for us, why is the world in such a bad shape now? Natural disasters, over-population, diseases and illnesses, terrorists, economic crises, and many more.

If there is a God, what has he been doing?

I have so many doubts in religion.

not that I don't believe in God, there are just too many questions.

I'm agnostic.

Pneumothorax...not.

2010-01-10T23:32:00.003+08:00

A lot has been going on over this two weeks.

spent New Year's Day at taksheng's place, had BBQ with the usual people. mad fun, food and booze. lots of food prepared by weiyuan, the mad dancing and I think the 4 of us finished off 1 and a half bottle of Absolut. and somebody merlion-ed. (not me. wahahahas!) stayed behind when the rest left so I can see wh home but she slept until so late that I gave in at 10+am and went to sleep too. left tak's place at 1+pm.

went home to change then went to collect Klub Party's tickets. met the mother and sister for lunch and a little shopping. finally Gmasked my itouch! I wanted the anti-war skin lah, but it's brown and the person said when print out it'll turn "slight tinge of green". I asked for demo and the whole thing was green can. -.-" so I chose this other cute skin but I didn't know it was for iPhone! now my itouch looks like iPhone wannabe. -.-"

went to watch Bodyguards and Assassins with junjin, aloysius and kynaston after that. I think the movie's not bad. tried to catch the last bus back and felt a little tired. my body was starting to feel a little painful but I thought it was from the lack of sleep.

woke up on sunday morning, whole body in pain. every breath hurts, every step hurts. I couldn't even sit at the laptop for long, went to lie in bed. I thought I'll sleep it out but jj persuaded me to see a doctor and accompanied me to TTSH. I can't believe I took public transport there. you have no idea the underpass from Novena MRT Station to TTSH was this long and every step hurt so I slowly 'crawled' my way there. reached there at 6pm, the walk-in clinic was closed for dinner until 7pm. slept at subway for that hour, feeling damn bad.

I don't understand why do everyone goes to the A&E department and wait for 3 hours for small ailments when there's a walk-in clinic and nobody inside. I was like the 2nd patient there and there were only 3 people. why do you people think A&E is "faster" and jam up the queue there when there are people who genuinely need the services there? why waste the resources? I hate this kind of people.

the doctor was like, "you felt pain when you woke up? why did you come see me only now!?" he thought it was pneumothorax (I had no idea what he was talking about. it was in short, punctured lung) and he explained what it was. I was fxxking shocked lah! he said I have to go A&E immediately and do X-ray to confirm. if it is, they have to insert a needle into my body to poke the tissue surrounding the lung to release the trapped air. if it's serious, they'll have to do a minor surgery on me and insert a chest tube. wtf!?

i took the referral letter and go A&E. so many people! apparently pneumothorax must be something serious because once they read my letter, I skipped the long queue and was put on a bed and pushed to the X-ray room immediately. thank god the X-ray result came out and a doctor took 1 look at it and said it isn't. so I joined the queue at the room for the next 2 hours. the room is like carpark la, the beds all park side by side one. the room inside even better, got parking lots for the beds one. there was a lot of drama going on inside. hahas. the doctor said they've no idea what it is, most likely muscle strain or inflammation of the joints and sent me home with painkillers. apparently they "treat symptomatically" and since my pain went away after painkillers, so they gave me more and sent me home. nice.

I got ATT C 2 days and ATT B 2 days after that. first time on status after 9 months in the army. I kinda like being on status, since I don't have to do anything but I don't like the part where I am genuinely sick and needed the rest.

i am feeling much better now but am now down with sore throat, slight flu and still feeling a little weak at times. =/

so last week, I found out something that I wish i didn't had to find out this way. I am more sad by the way I found out than the news itself. I mean, if you had bothered to tell me if you treated me as a close friend, I would have congratulated you and gave you my blessings. looks like not only are the feelings non-reciprocal, the same goes for the way we treat each other.

all the best on this one.

everyone deserves some love.

thank you to everyone who was concerned about me and wished me well!

heartless. "fail."

I should have known better.

It's that time of the year again.

2010-01-02T09:53:00.005+08:00

I'm still awake after staying up the whole night plus getting mad drunk. okay, so I'm a lousy drinker. hahas.

I'm actually quite sober now, despite being very tired. So, it's that time of the year again. The annual resolutions time. I'm late this year, but who cares anyway, right?

Let's take a moment to reflect what happened in 2009:

I made a lot of new friends this year. A lot, really. This has been on my annual resolutions for many years now (check archives) but I didn't really fulfill it all this while, so I'm glad to say I finally did it this year!

I started clubbing. After post-prom in 2008, I started clubbing regularly until I was enlisted into National Service. Weekly dose of Butter Cookies @ Butter Factory (Robertson Quay, before it moved) and then monthly saturdays @ Phuture. There were good times, there were bad times, there were new times, but I guess it was one of the best things that happened to me in 2009. =)

I was enlisted into National Service. Finally, duty calls. I learnt quite a number of stuff from it, and for the first time in my life I actually seen myself physically fit. Mental endurance, discipline, humility, I experienced it all. Also, I've hit an all-time low in depression and emo-ness. Overall, the WORST THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME IN 2009.

The most unique Valentine's Day I've ever had. I didn't say it was enjoyable nor detestable, but unique, yes.

Most unique birthday and National Day too.

Lonely Christmas eve and New Year eve.

I'm still not thinking straight, so I'll conclude...

2009 WAS A BITCH YEAR, ONE OF THE WORST YEARS I EVER HAD. I HOPE 2010 IS MUCH BETTER DESPITE A FULL YEAR OF NATIONAL SERVICE (AND MORE, OH THE HORROR) BUT PLEASE. LET 2010 BE MUCH BETTER. TYVM.

My resolutions for Year 2010:

SAME OLD THING. MANAGE MY FINANCES. SAVE UP + NO DEBTS PLEASE.

Make more friends. (I'm very sociable. =D )

Spend more time with people who matter to me. (You guys are the ones who matter the most to me. I <3 you guys.) Endure through NS peacefully and in one piece. (FXXK YOU NS. MY DISSENT, HATRED AND ANGER AT YOUR SYSTEM IS INSURMOUNTABLE AND CANNOT BE DESCRIBED ENOUGH WITH WORDS. LET'S JUST LEAVE IT AT "EPIC FAIL.") Find time and money to learn/do the things I want to do! (okay I think that's about it. for now.)

2 weeks of block leave went by in a flash, UNEVENTFULLY. I HATE BEING POOR, IN DEBT, TO THE POINT YOU WASTE YOUR BLOCK LEAVE PLAYING FACEBOOK AT HOME. DAMN.

I'm watching True Blood. R21 version of Twilight, the true vampire show for adults. Go suck on your lollipops, Twilight fans.

New Year's Day at taksheng's place was a blast. awesome BBQ, even more awesome-nest company.

LOOKING FORWARD TO KLUB PARTY ON SAT 9 JAN.

OK 25% DRUNK KEITH SIGNING OFF. TAKE CARE PEOPLE!!!

edit: my resolutions seem to be the same every year. why am I not fulfilling it. =(

A smile after 48 minutes.

2009-12-28T03:19:00.009+08:00

I've just watched The Promise on Channel U. I find it very good; it's seldom to find good local feature films. most of the films that made it to national television consists of a reflection of everyday life portrayed by Jack Neo films. In retrospect, I'm kinda ashamed I tried to write about him as a groundbreaker for Project Work back in JC1.

Not only is the story touching, new faces for leading roles added a good feel to the film. I'm kinda tired of seeing the same faces every time on television; don't Singapore have talents? They either always show us the "Ah Ge, Ah Jie" that are past their prime already or hot bods/cute faces like Felicia Chin and Fiona Xie. Granted, they are really good in their acting, especially after accumulated so many years of experience and I don't mind a few more of the latter, but there is a limit to being superficial, no? The hype over them is overrated anyway.

(Felicia's role in some serials as a dumb girl is quite good though. Either that or I have a thing for people acting in dumb roles, since this film is about a mild intellectually disabled girl. =/)

The leading actress in this film is Julie Tan, a finalist of The New Paper New Face 2009. (The wonder/horror of the Internet. found her blog and more info about her. o.O) I find her acting not bad. It isn't quite easy to act an intellectually disabled adult with the cognitive capability of a 10 years old and yet still be cheery, bubbly but need to cry when the scene requires you to. maybe it's easy to actors/actresses, just that we viewers don't know, but all the same she did a very good job. kudos. I think she's gonna star in two more dramas next year, so I'll be looking forward to that. won't be able to watch tv since i'll be in camp, but don't you just love it when you have a HubStation to record it for you? =D

Speaking of cable TV, StarHub has allowed every subscriber to access all their channels, yes, every single channel, until probably next year. Not that I tried watching the channels, I just read about them on Facebook and Twitter. Good move, but not gonna affect me since I don't watch TV. dang.

went to town today with my cousin. 3rd time I've been to town this week, I'm getting sick of it already. went to Paragon's Market Place today. You have no idea how much fun I have there. I didn't know supermarkets with wide range of products and nobody inside makes me happy. must have been the Cold Storage job. hahas. There are so many things I want to try/buy, but I am forever broke and in debt. That's why I hate shopping; looking at something and not being able to buy makes me feel more upset. =(

I'm sian when I'm home, sian when I'm out, sian when I'm in camp. Life has no purpose for me. I'm good at nothing. You know the phrase "jack of all trades, master of none?" I don't even know all trades. I'm worse. I feel like I'm a waste in the gene pool. I need to find something I'm good at, make myself better at it, and make myself useful. As of now I'm still a loser.

worth reading: http://www.yawningbread.org/arch_2009/yax-1088.htm (thanks to mr brown)

Here's some photos and quotes I found from Thomson's girlfriend's blog. very intriguing.

"Wait for the person who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kind of person who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person. Wait for the person who will be your best friend, the only person who will drop everything to be with you at any time no matter what the circumstances. Wait for the person who makes you smile like no one else and when they smile you know they need you. Wait for the person who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweat and a t-shirt, but appreciates it when you get dressed up for them. Most of all wait for the person who will put you at the center of their universe, because that’s where you belong."

— Unknown

"Why do people have to be this lonely? What’s the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?"

— Haruki Murakami

"I don’t care about anyone, and the feeling is quite obviously mutual."

— Sylvia Plath

look beneath the surface; see the goodness within

2009-12-27T02:34:00.005+08:00

happy boxing day.

was awakened by my sister at noon; someone's been calling me repeatedly. (4 miss calls) the caller claims to be from dbs bank, kampong ubi branch; someone dropped my ezlink card into their quick cheque deposit box. they closes at 1pm but the caller offered to send it to my place around 5pm. i was kinda wary at first. someone calls you and says they have your card and even offer to send it back to you seems too good to be true. i asked how did they got my number; they searched the bank records for my contact info. they didnt see my debit card though.

so i stayed home the whole day, waiting for the banker to send my card back. she really did! nice car somemore, red car with licence plate no. 10. bankers really earn big moolah. =/

I would like to express my heartfelt gratitude to the staff of dbs bank, kampong ubi branch for their unwavering commitment to duty & service, going the extra mile without thinking twice.

i'm no big customer and hell, my account is almost empty, yet they still do so much for me. they practice what they preach. seen the posb's advert, neighbours first, bankers second?

so the one who found my card in hougang decided to dump it in kampong ubi, but took my debit card. oh well, at least that card's cancelled and the free replacement's coming. now i save $18 on replacing my ezlink card plus the value within the card. yays!

lesson learnt: do your job and do it well. do not be motivated to work merely for the benefits. i would like to thank and salute the soldiers who stayed back in camp during christmas so that we can enjoy our holiday in peace, though nobody out in the streets care anyway. wei xun, i salute you.

found out something last night. feeling foolish and naive. it didn't have to be this way, you could have told me and i would have been happy for you. im not surprised though. may you find happiness, for that is all that matters.

watched bandslam. it's good.

wishing joanna a speedy recovery. get well soon!

selling ipod nano 3rd & 4th gen screen protectors. anyone interested pls contact me. refer a friend, get a commission.

anyone interested in klub party, a kpop hits club night at dxo?

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2009-12-25T03:05:00.004+08:00

A really eventful Christmas, indeed. can't say it was a boring one.

booked in last night for half day today. didn't take off cause if I took off, I had to take one full day and there's a free half day today. why let SAF eat my half day when they already took so much away from me.

before I booked out (I am the bunk IC and I'm supposed to lock the door) the door was spoilt. Remember those chain e-mails with those lame jokes where they asked how many people does it take to replace a lightbulb? Well, my version is how many engineers does it take to repair a door? 5, including a CSM. and the door wasn't fully repaired.

You know how freaking ulu and isolated Sungei Gedong Camp is when my bunkmates left half an hour earlier and when I booked out I still see them waiting for a cab.

went home, was really tired, napped for a while. went out at night to find Jun Jin; he was in town. We walked around. The lights this year at orchard wasn't to my liking, somehow it... sucked. especially those nearer to plaza singapura, really... ugly. There were some live bands performing and I must say the old couple near Cathay Cineleisure was really good. The filipinos were dancing and a bangla actually joined in. lols!

It's kinda sad to see Orchard Road filled with foreigners performing for our Christmas. Where are our local talents? The streets are filled with tourists, snapping photos and enjoying their Christmas away from home, we have to have foreigners performing for us too?

Oh and, snow sprays battlefield everywhere. Thank goodness I avoided all of it.

When the clock struck 12, we purposely went to Plaza Singapura to avoid the crazy crowd outside Takashimaya (past experience proved to be very happening but crowded to the max and snow sprays everywhere). I must say... the crowd outside Plaza Singapura was virtually non-existent and not high at all. it went "5, 4, 3, 2, 1, merry christmas." Dead.

went to The Cathay to buy drinks and slack a while, then JJ brought me to this bar at Hotel Rendezvous. it's UK style, so says JJ. we were talking to this guy who came in alone with a very thick book and talking about the stupidity of Singaporean system; the paper chase. Apparently he had a very sad NS life too. His card had 15% discount and he gladly saved $7 for us, and I didn't even remember his name and we talked for what, 15 minutes. There are still nice people in singapore!

We took separate cabs home since it's not on the way and..

THE SHIT BEGAN FROM HERE.

I had no cash left on me so I chose a ComfortDelgro cab which accepts MasterCard/NETS. when I reached my house, the taxi driver accidentally pressed the meter twice which cleared away the fare; he couldn't charge the fare to my card. I had no cash on me and I didn't want to go up my house to take money since my whole family is asleep. The taxi driver kindly offered to drove me to an ATM to withdraw but he was like scolding throughout the whole journey, blaming me why I never bring cash out, might as well don't come out, and how his bad luck to pick up a passenger like me and how in 30 years of driving cab this was his worst Christmas cause apparently he picked up some lousy customers before me.

I put my ATM card and EZLink card so if I took out one, I'll take out the other. I drew out enough just to pay for my fare and rushed back to the cab since he was waiting for me at no cost and he mentioned that now was his peak period to earn extra money and I'm wasting his time. I think along the way I dropped both cards cause when I reached home and alighted, I couldn't find both cards and stopped him before he left. I searched his cab and he offered to take me back to the ATM again, at Hougang Mall. so we went back there but I couldn't find my card at the machine nor along the route I taken. he was there scolding cause he want to go pick up other passengers to earn money. no choice right, so I came back again. he even asked me which floor I stayed so he'll come find me if he found my cards.

I figured I dropped the cards along the way back to the cab because I couldn't possibly left my ATM card in the machine. if so, I would still be holding on to my EZLink card which wasn't the case. It's okay to lose the ATM card; the guy who picked it up doesn't have my PIN but this card is the debit card and he can just swipe the MasterCard anywhere.

Thank goodness DBS still works on public holiday; I called at 3AM to cancel my card and the guy did it efficiently. They even have safety checks in place cause he asked me for all sorts of personal particulars to make sure I was the owner of the card. What's more, THERE IS NO REPLACEMENT FEE FOR THE DEBIT CARD AND THEY WILL MAIL A NEW CARD TO ME IN 3 WORKING DAYS. AWESOME.

I was really worried about replacing the cards cause that means extra money spent for nothing (I estimated $30 per card.)

Eventful christmas, no?

Oh wells.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

With a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

2009-12-22T23:18:00.005+08:00

Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you.

Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want?

Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic.

You have been warned. - Tyler

Fell sick 2 days before my graduation parade. reported sick for the first time in my 9 months of service; I'm usually not sick enough to report sick so I'll let my body recover by itself or I seek medical attention after I book out. No status, given medication made my situation worse.

still sick after what, 5 days. different kind of sickness now.

I messed up my graduation parade. did the rehearsals so many times that we got sick of it. it's just a very simple parade, easier than BMT. spaced out during the actual parade itself, moved on the wrong command. I was in the first row so it's damn obvious. so humiliated. I hope I won't have to sign extra duties for that when I go back to camp.

I'm wasting my block leave. spent virtually whole of it at home. I'm sick of staying at home even though I'm sick, I wanna go out and chill but my friends are all in camp. I spent too much time in front of this laptop, I figure my eyesight's gonna deteriorate.

am in a really bad mood, unexplained. it just gradually builds up and then the dam breaks.

re-watching fight club was therapeutic. you fight negativity with more negativity. reunion. you feel fucked, in a relieved kind of way.

so many things to buy, so many wants.

Tyler Durden: Do you know what a duvet is?

Narrator: It's a comforter...

Tyler Durden: It's a blanket. Just a blanket. Now why do guys like you and me know what a duvet is? Is this essential to our survival, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word? No. What are we then?

Narrator: ...Consumers?

Tyler Durden: Right. We are consumers. We're the bi-products of a lifestyle obsession.

that's right. we're consumers, the by-products of a lifestyle obsession.

Man, I see in Fight Club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see it squandered. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables — slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars, but we won't. We're slowly learning that fact.

And we're very, very pissed off. - Tyler

consumerism. commercialization. false hopes and dreams.

Life is so fubar for me and I think that's cause there's no purpose in life for me. what am I doing here. what's ahead for me. ord. then? study. then? get a job. then? get married. then? what's the whole purpose to my life. it's so mediocre, i wanna laugh at it in its face.

people make it to the top and get what they want, yes, but how many success stories are there. and you know how many else have failed? they tell you the success stories so that you can aim and be one of them, to make you try real hard. but did the same liars tell you what happen when you don't make the cut and fall? you go down, right down in your face. and it hurts. real bad. there are countless of people out there, and no, they ain't telling no stories about them. gullible us need no reminder of harsh fact of reality, cause we need to be brainwashed to aim for the moon.

not everyone is lucky to born in a good family, to have what they want.

i thought i'm fucked. thank god for letting me know people far worse off than me. and they are still putting up a fight, surviving. thank you for giving me hope.

You're not your job.

You're not how much money you have in the bank.

You're not the car you drive.

You're not the contents of your wallet.

You're not your fucking khakis.

You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

"Where to buy Master Balls?"

2009-12-14T18:09:00.003+08:00

I can't even afford Pokeballs, less Masterballs.

why life sucks.

Life's a bitch

2009-12-14T01:59:00.002+08:00

so much for being nice to myself.

decided to not sleep for 4 hours and wake up at 6am for the brown eyed girls fan meeting and sleep in so I can rest my body.

turns out I had a horrible nightmare about army stuff.

it's bad enough to dream about army stuff in camp, now I gotta dream about it at home too?

give me a break, please.

on the bright side, got it wrapped!

life's really pretty much a bitch.

not only mine.

but I think mine's pretty bitchy, no?

until I watched Gossip Girl. their lives are equally messed up. lols.

the only way to forget, is to immerse yourself in other things until you can't think about it.

~~make~~ or break.

live your age, K.

and to you, I'll really like to say "I told you so,"

but I shall be nice and not say it in your face.

but you're still right.

you're my motivation.

WILL DATE FOR GUMMIES

2009-12-14T01:22:00.004+08:00

Name: Daniel

Age: 19

Year 3 Civil Engineering @ Ngee Ann Polytechnic

Ask me for his contact!

P.S. He doesn't bite. really.

Guy's Night Out

2009-12-14T00:50:00.004+08:00

Rule #32: Enjoy the little things.

went out with Wei Xun and Jun Jin. I wanted to get InvisibleShield at Plaza Singapura but I saw Gmask. maybe I'll get Gmask instead; can't find nice photos though.

went to watch Zombieland at The Cathay. It's totally L4D-like. gory yet funny. I like the meaning behind the story though; quite an innovative way to portray the meaning.

saw Anderson Junior College's choir caroling at the atrium, think we saw Zongyi. I dropped my phone after the first song while clapping (you know, you gotta hold the phone and clap at the same time, not easy) and everyone turned their attention to us. Awkward.

went to walked around Orchard, my virgin visit to Orchard Central. saw this really cool watch, Wei Xun and Jun Jin wanted to buy it. didn't really interest me though; novel but I'll like a watch that works when I needed it, tyvm.

played around at Funz Centre for very long. buey paiseh, 3 army boys playing there. lols.

went up to the roof garden. very nice! (Y) saw a couple making out in a corner at the 7th floor. The guy confirm pass his cover and concealment for army, cause I didn't see that guy until Jun Jin pointed out to me.

went to 313@somerset. don't like leh, nothing much there except clothes and more clothes; no food, no entertainment!

ate @ The Heeren's Subway, saw Jeolinita. It's a small small world~

photos on Facebook.

Freedom

2009-12-10T18:05:00.003+08:00

It was good, spending the whole day resting at home, enjoying my me time.

I see my mother enjoying her medical leave to the fullest, sleeping and waking up at her own leisure time, practicing on the piano, reading newspapers, having short naps, etc. I could do with some of those relaxation and freedom too.

I hope she's recovering well, cause her medical leave's gonna finish soon. It's good to see her scolding me, see her moving about and well, as compared to her lying in the hospital bed with a breathing tube inserted and an incubator machine to keep her warm, weeks back. I can still see the image in my mind. Even though she nags at me every now and then, she's ultimately my mother and you know, 世上只有妈妈好。

Learn to appreciate what you have before you lose them. Don't wait until it's too late.

"Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson." - Some random guy's tweet.

I've decided to change for the better, and I have plans, and I'm gonna stick to it.

I've been staring at the computer, waiting for you to come online. insane. lols.

I really, really, really don't wanna go back to camp.

I miss my freedom, the time before I enlisted, doing what I want, when I want.

I miss the times in secondary school, hanging out with friends, creating trouble, living out my life.

Looks like I've moved on, time to look ahead, not behind. It's others' time now, not mine, let them live their lives and don't interfere, for I don't belong there.

Change is constant.

(Y)

2009-12-10T02:42:00.002+08:00

ICCT is over!

Took half day leave today and off tomorrow. need to escape from that place and have some me time.

The canteen auntie gave me a ride out to the bus stop. so kind!

spent the whole day on MSN! (Y)

Cheap thrills, but who cares, 我开心就好。:D

I have a problem with obsession. =(

不求一生一世，但愿曾经拥有。

我在骗谁啊。

I am only human.

傻子。

last burst of fire

2009-12-06T18:26:00.002+08:00

ugh. damn bad case of disorientation now. I hate afternoon naps at home because when you wake up, there's this feeling of disorientation and numbness at the back of your head. I've no idea why this happens to me. I went to bed because of very serious headaches and the inability to do anything else other than sleep. I thought I had sufficient sleep. =/

I hate book ins. can I don't book in? I wanna take leave on wednesday after my ICCT grading, all the way until friday. I'll be happy at home doing nothing.

can't get enough of freedom, you give a guy a little and he wants more. always the same for everything else, eh.

I'm determined to stay clean. gonna give away or throw away when I have the chance, but you know, I don't really appreciate throwing away my money. =/

An acquaintance of mine once said "Do not get into a relationship because you're lonely. Do it because you're ready."

am I ready? joanna and sister both once mentioned that it's time I got myself someone.

I see a lot of people around everywhere too.

I'm loving singlehood.

what am I talking about. must be the disorientation. ugh.

saw a lot of pretty girls around recently. a shout out to all of them: you make my day happy! :)

SGWonderfuls

2009-12-06T13:14:00.006+08:00

okay, this is like my 3rd post already, right?

actually, this is my highlight post!

HAHA.

I thought I could slack on saturday and have some me time, resting instead of heading out all the time, but kynaston asked me out to play l4d 2. can't really reject a buddy even if you don't feel like going out, and he's treating, so why not. I have motion sickness so I can't really play l4d 2 for long. been a long time since i played computer games, especially at a lan shop. brings back memories of secondary school days, where we used to go out and chiong lan shops every weekends and after school, when we had time. those were the great times of brotherhood man. time flies and now, we're all grown up. look around the lan shop and see kids living their moment, while there are definitely some people that never grows up. people our age or older, still playing maplestory and hanging out in lan shops all day. that's your life? I'm sorry for you. i've moved on. time for you to move on too.

grabbed a quick dinner after that and rushed down to PUB recreation club. for?

SGWonderfuls annual kpop gathering!

some event held by the wonder girls fan club in singapore to "celebrate our official listing on WonderfulsWorld and to showcase our talents within the fan club". i'll say the event was a success, but it was kinda awkward initially. i'll be hurtful honest here, cause I'll prolly won't dare to say it in front of the fan club, but the truth hurts, right?

the starting of the event was kinda bad, since the turnout was rather small, like less than 20 people and most people didn't know each other or wasn't close, other than the active members of the club who were all in the organizing team. you see people sitting around, staring at their phones or staring at the walls. all the worse for people who went alone, like me and 3 other people, but thank god I've been to the 1000th anniversary filming and I know some people there already, and you know, Keith is very friendly. :D

I feel that apple (g-mod of the club, organizer of the event) is rather harsh on some issues, like the disclaimer to "invite" people out of the event and the club if people tried to misbehave, and the flooding of facebook inbox to invite people in. well, can see that she's trying her best to make the event a success, but kinda trying too hard and the wrong way, no? you're scaring us, friend. we feel intimidated by your ferocity. you could have toned down a bit on that, but thank you anyway for putting so much effort into it.

the performances were not bad, most of them really can sing. the highlight is still the performance by wonder-shi dae, I guess I'm a fan of you girls now too. you put up a better performance than the first time I saw you girls perform at the 1000th anniversary filming, but qianru remained the only girl to smile throughout the performance and looked as if she's really enjoying herself. but still, good performance there and hope to see more of you! all the best for the NUS performance okay! did I mention that someone from NUS cultural society came and invited them to perform? ain't that cool!

I got sabo-ed by some super SNSD fan to go up the stage to play some very lame game, kinda awkward for everyone but oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do. I think everyone thinks I'm a troublemaker/joker, more of the former, but that's just me I guess. a leopard never changes its spots. I would have put in more effort in playing the game if you told me earlier the prizes were Wonder Girls poster!! I want!!

the event is kinda like the organizing team self-high like that. lols.

oh yeah, I met this 15 year old malay guy who came by himself. see, everyone loves wonder girls! :D

I'm looking forward to more sgwonderful events, but i hope apple wont be so harsh anymore and everyone can be more friendly and close knit as a club! not just the active members knowing each other and having a good time, include everyone in! oh yeah, and they were all singing the korean songs. i don't know korean. =( i should learn!

no photos. x(

Wonder Girls fighting!

Edit: I found the videos!

more of SGWonderfuls and Wonder ShiDae:

AND NOW, SOHEE! <3

xoxo

2009-12-06T13:05:00.002+08:00

"and who am I? that's my secret I'll never tell. you know you love me. xoxo."

I'm starting to watch Gossip Girl! okay, I know I'm very slow, like, what age am I living in? I start watching Heroes when it's already season 5, now then I start watching Gossip Girl? better late then never! I'm still downloading True Blood and How I Met Your Mother, so give me time people!

I was at home watching my first episode of gossip girl before I had to go to taksheng's place. taksheng's going to bmt next friday since his pes status has upped to B and weiyuan's enlisting to SCDF on tuesday. stupid taksheng made me go over his place so early, he was hiding at his computer, watching some taiwan idol drama while eunice and weihui were playing the wii. some raving rabbit party game. I could have been watching gossip girl! weiyuan and yuying came later. chilled around, playing wii tennis and talking cock about army stuff before we headed to town for dinner and movie. we were there like 7 and no movies til 12.30am!? astons, walked around then ben and jerry's. omg, b&j! watched couple's retreat. kinda a letdown, didn't really like the movie. almost fell asleep halfway, was trying to combat fatigue. but kristen bell's very pretty! the island's very beautiful and cool too! i'll like to go on a holiday at that resort some time, but that's not gonna happen.

it was great chilling out with 407 people man. the laughter, the fun times, the craps. taksheng please upload the photos.

good luck and all the best to taksheng and weiyuan. welcome to the real world, from boys to men.

PLAY

2009-12-06T12:50:00.003+08:00

It's time to widen my social circle. :(

I spent almost an entire week finding people to go experience a lesbian night, all I got were 5 people and all backed out at the last minute. joanna spent 2 hours before the event and got someone already.

I fail.

so I booked out on thursday (clearing leave on friday) and went home to change. went to PLAY (the name of the club) at tanjong pagar. I thought I was late, but turned out I was the earliest. we reached there at 12am! I left my house late and had to go to taksheng's place to borrow a cap, since my hair is botak now thanks to CO parade on tuesday and I had to cut it off. it was good though, I saved myself from 3x confinements. what is $7, 2 haircuts and a botak head for a month compared to jailed in camp for 3 weekends? my aim is to avoid getting weekend guard duties, confinements and extra duties. so far, I'm a 9 month soldier and i have been doing well. a little over-healthy, as ee hern put it, since i've never fallen sick since I've enlisted. I've never been to the medical centre, no status, never met the medical officer except once, for the army half marathon FFI. a downside to that will be you get nothing for not reporting sick, you never gotten an ATT C (MC) and went home during the week, while your platoon mates take att c every other week and spent half the week at home, laughing at you. health is wealth, but apparently not when you're in the army.

joanna came from work and asked a friend along, a real les. let's call her DN here. we couldn't get into the club cause the door bitch said it was a girls party and I wasn't allowed. I was like, thank god all those I've invited didn't came or it'll be a wasted trip, and like wtf? what am I supposed to do now? joanna had connections and asked her friend, so her friend said to try again. this time DN went to ask the door bitch again and told her that I was a gay, newly converted. what I'll do to get inside, man. the door bitch just told me not to create trouble and tada, we're in!

i saw irene ang (owner of fly entertainment and rosie in phua chu kang), rebecca tan (some model that I didn't know, apparently she's famous and hot, and les.) the place was was opened by irene ang. I saw lots of girls making out and grinding each other. why are some of the hot girls les? kinda losing out for the guys, you get what I mean. i saw some gays inside too; some were normal looking, some were like so obviously gay. didn't get high much, since we drank very little (booze is expensive in singapore) but there were a lot to look look see see. objective met. oh yeah, i tried my first jagerbomb.

I most probably won't be going back there for a long time to come, but hell it was a good experience. thanks joanna!

Survival of the fittest

2009-12-06T11:28:00.000+08:00

They say that the human race is the most cowardly and weakest race, because of their natural lack of defense mechanisms such as claws, beaks and teeth, they resort to unnatural means to defend themselves via weapons and machines, giving them an unfair advantage.

so because of our lack of claws, our only means to fight is to wrestle via brute force, and as time evolves, techniques.

but as human race progress, the innate primitive tendencies to fight and champion over others, diminishes as society declares it as barbarism and undesirable.

nowadays, the boys on the street rarely know how to defend themselves, less fight.

I spent the whole week in camp undergoing close combat training, learning how to defend myself and possibly fight, if the need arises.

It's rather tough on the body as conditioning exercises and practices gave me headaches and body aches the whole week.

It amuses me to see the close combat instructors revel in fighting and wrestling, claiming tussling to be "fun" and "interesting".

It all boils down to raw animalism and male superiority, no?

"Beneath the rule of men entirely great, the pen is mightier than the sword."

2009-12-04T11:33:00.002+08:00

The other day, I was reminiscing about my childhood. I remember I used to write letters to NKF when I was a kid, probably in primary one. I'll look forward to receiving a reply letter from the staff at the NKF and write another letter in return. NKF was still the good old organization back then, no TT Durai scandal or anything. Or maybe there was, but I was merely one of the thousands that were oblivious to it. I can't really remember what I wrote to them then, but I still have a few reply letters from them. I've kept them until today.

so I came back home on friday and my mum suddenly said to me, "do you still remember this? look what I've found." apparently she had been rummaging through old stuff during the week and found a stack of letters. guess what? she found a few photocopied letters of the ones that I wrote to NKF. I was like, woah. I thought about this the day before and today you brought out the letters for me? Coincidence don't come that close, man. You'll never believe what a primary school kid will write. I perused through my letters and was having a good kick out of it, can't believe what I actually wrote. to think I could actually got first in class with this kind of english. my class must have really sucked then.

I thought I'll never see the letters again, since I mailed them out and didn't bother to save a copy. luckily, or unluckily, I have a caring mother who is worried about me interacting with strangers, so she used to read through my letters before sending them out, without my knowledge, not until later then. she managed to photocopy a few letters for posterity's sake. good thing she did, or i'll lose yet another part of my childhood memory.

remember the kid magazine young generation (YG)? there used to be a page at the back of it, filled with addresses and all. it was the pen pals page or something. i used to have a pen pal, some kid a year younger or two, living in the west. i exchanged letters with him, talking about nonsensical stuff like pokemon cards and studies and all. my mum used to read through these letters too, and I figured it out already. i purposely wrote it to my pen pal so if my mum read that particular letter, she'll know that I'm displeased, but apparently that didn't stop her. her care for her children will not be stopped by a mere whim of her child. my pen pal isn't very happy by the invasion of privacy either, but heck, we were only 11 year old kids. what do we know about the dangers of the society?

I stopped corresponding to my pen pal after I was 12. I couldn't find any of his letters either. I guess we just moved on and led our own lives. I can't even remember his name now. take care, my unknown friend.

what brought me to think about letters? a friend of mine asked me for my address while i was in camp. I was thinking, what for? are you trying to stalk me or something? she wanted to mail me an appreciation card, to thank close friends for being there when she needed them.

how many people actually send letters and appreciation cards anymore?

the only letters I see nowadays are either crap advertisements or bills. bills, bills and more bills. we're so absorbed into this commercial wretch that the only time you see letters, you'll go "oh damn, the bills are here."

why bother writing letters when you can just send a text or come online and MSN that person? we don't even send e-mails anymore. e-mails are reserved for Facebook notifications, newsletters, chain mails, "please forward this to save a 5 year old kid, every e-mail sent we will donate 5 cents" and "MSN is closing down. please forward this so that we know you are active." I remember e-mailing karmy about purchasing something in the USA; it was kinda awkward. the conversation would have been more efficient on MSN but again, NS and 12 hour time difference don't really make the cut for it.

Our language may improve as we grow up, and the jump from paper to computer may allow us to communicate better, faster, more efficiently and more aesthetically (no more ugly handwriting) but sometimes, I still prefer the good old pen. you come home after a long day and open the mailbox, hoping to find a letter from someone, a piece of paper of sincerity. the ugly handwriting, but hey, it's handwritten, someone actually sat down and spent 10 minutes of their time writing it.

good old times.

Gamer

2009-11-29T19:05:00.002+08:00

too much to post, using 2nd post.

I just watched Gamer. I don't know about reviews, but I think it's awesome. The plot, the way it's shot, the meaning behind it... ever watched Fight Club? It's cult status. they should add Gamer to cult status too. the sanctity of the human rights, morals, ability to think and control, the selfishness of humans, the destitute behavior, the drinking and partying and all those thats fallen through the cracks, vs love and the willpower and the fight for survival, us living in denial or living in ignorance of the big picture. the slayers, I feel their pain. being forced to do things against their will and not seeing the big picture.

one good movie.

I remember reading an article about friendship in teenage, august issue I think. found it lying in the platoon office, its the issue with wonder girls inside. how coincidental! can't remember the full article, but it talks about everyone has different groups of friends for different activities, different cliques, what defines a friend, how everyone treats everyone as a friend when they can be just schoolmates, colleagues or platoon mates. its about how much one is willing to do for the other, to keep in contact and all. how it isn't really good to bring together all your group of friends cause it will cause awkwardness, but i feel sometimes its good to make more friends and widen your social circles. you can do more stuff and get more stuff out of it too.

I'm spending too much this month! no seriously, cant make it. need to plan my finances for the next few months. however, it has been a very good month. weekends, not army life. army life, totally suck.

i've stopped playing computer games in my free time and keep going out. say this long weekend, I'm out everyday and only have sunday to do all the stuff that I'm actually supposed to do. the weekends pass by in a flash, but hell, it was good weekends. I'm loving it!

a lot of movies haven't watch! so many people to catch up with! not enough time! december holidays please come and don't leave me!

okay this post was written under pressure of time as I'm about to book in and haven't eaten dinner nor changed, so it appears haphazard and not well written. i feel compelled to write down my thoughts and feelings instead of letting it disappear into oblivion, so i'll just leave it as that and edit it maybe next time.

peace!

Ex Rhino

2009-11-29T12:54:00.005+08:00

I'm back from Ex Rhino!

It's my 3D2N (that ended up into 3D3N. hais. always like that, Employer) evaluation exercise that signifies the near completion of my Armoured Engineer Pioneer course. like, finally. It's like the promos or something. I'm still left with 1 last ICCT to take care of, then it's graduation! Which also signifies... END OF YEAR 2009! HOLIDAYS!

So I spent 3 days in the forest without showering, brushing my teeth, same set of clothes, eating combat rations, sleeping in a very cramped area that defies human norms and donated a buffet to the sandflies and mosquitoes. I actually spent more time sitting around, waiting rather than doing work. wouldn't it be so much better if we skipped all the waiting and just did work? We could have finished in like, one day?

I was sitting there in my Bronco, staring at the trees while the cicadas creak, pondering about life once again. while I was here waiting for time to pass in serenity, life around the world goes on. It was around 3pm, so students were on holidays, having fun; people were working in their offices, staring at the computer while feeling sian cause it's 3 more hours to knock off; while I am here waiting for time to pass, suffering. does anyone truly understand how I feel?

I remember meeting joanna and her friends for supper last week, and her friend elaine mentioned in passing "why are you guys always complaining?" true. why are we always complaining? especially about NS. we ramble on about this and about that, yet there's nothing we can do about it. maybe it's because there's nothing we can do about it, only to suck it up. then one will say then just bear with it, be a man and learn how to deal with it. maybe this is the part that we haven't figure out or mastered yet, the part about accepting the suffering and move on. I think the reason why some people get posted to command school such as OCS and SISPEC is probably because they are able to suck it up, to accept the harsh and tough conditions thrown to them without making too much noise. You don't really see officers or specialists complaining, not as frequent as man anyway. even while they are trainees, they mostly keep it to themselves while the men shout it out to the whole world, afraid that nobody understands their pain while they slowly die on the inside. why do men complain? because we are posted to where we did not want to end up, being forced to come here either by our own doing or by luck, or rather, the lack of it. we complain because we are forced to do things against our will; my platoon mates said that if they are posted to command schools, where life is as tough or even worse, they won't complain, because that's where they wanted to go. it's what they wanted. true or false, we can never find out now. i still see people enjoying where they are or what they do and yet, they still complain occasionally. singaporeans love to complain. many people use this as part of their repertoire of excuses as to why we complain. perhaps we have just too many grouses.

went out with yuying, weihui and yueshi on friday. went to army market to buy my stuff first before heading to orchard. i've never really been to orchard ion alot of times, about twice i think. went to the basement and omg, there's so many things to eat there! almost wanted to eat every single thing, but my wallet will commit suicide before that and my stomach will probably rupture anyway. we walked around and tried some of this and that. til we saw this swiss roll cake shop.

O.M.G.

The girl is so pretty!

WAHAHA.

we're just nice standing next to the shop so yuying took a photo of her, but too bad can't see her face. it's on facebook, check out the hype about the photo. even kaili who saw the photo on facebook said she saw the pretty girl la! but again, kaili works at ion. =/

walked the whole of far east and saw alot of girls shopping too. noticed that their dressing sense very weird. saw this group of girls that you can't determine their age. they just don't look like any age; you just can't put a dot to it. weihui said they were around our age cause she recognised one of them from hwa chong, but they don't look like it! verdict: young girls like to overdress to look mature (by way alot), while old girls like to dress to look young. whats this obession with youth and maturity?

went to bugis after that. just tagged along, didnt contribute anything at all. had some laughs laughing at their dress sense though. hahas.

went phuture with junjin at night, along with sister and her friend. it was AWESOME. I went to buy entrance before meeting sister though. wasted. sister's friend knows the people and signed her in for free! we could have gone in for free and saved $30 each! argh. her friend even got us into velvet cause velvet's drinks are cheaper. I've never been to velvet! I saw joshua from I not stupid too. oh and, a fight broke out inside. first time seeing a fight in a club too. and yet another first time, I bought a jug. being the typical poor NSF, I never buy jugs cause its like, $44 for a jug? overbudget x100 please. but it was so high that night midway through your high you got sober abit, you just had to continue your high and half consciously I came back with a jug. hahahas. but I swear, it was one of the most awesome clubbing trips I had. sister make a very good partner, but gotta deal with my own problem.

realise it's not bad being a teacher. you see, your university education is sponsored, which can amount to almost 20K. you get paid the moment you signed the contract, so you're receiving salary while studying already, about $1400 a month. furthermore, you're a civil servant, you receive civil servant benefits including the 13th month bonus. next month sister's receiving 1.25x salary! almost 1.8k for just studying! and when you're working in the society, the average days of annual leave is 14, 7 for being new or on probation, 21 if you've been working long or in a senior position. which other jobs gives you 4 holidays a year, with 2 of them almost 2 whole months? granted, you have to come back to school on certain days in the holidays, but you don't have to give full day lessons, just do a few admin stuff and you're off again. sounds attractive, right? too bad i don't make the cut and my friends all say I'm not suited to be a teacher. i'll be ruining the futures of singapore kids. lols.

and so, I'm still discovering my life, day by day. not just in terms of age, but mentally and emotionally. i may be 19 already, but I'm still new to a lot of stuff, stuff that i never experienced before, so Im afraid and at a loss when i experience it. makes sense after joanna tells me that, regarding some fxxked up experience. keith also has a major issue with jealousy and possession issues. looks like keith still has a lot of growing up to do.

shout out to joanna: you're a great friend!

oh yeah, i haven't seen my sister the whole of last week and saw her only on sat this week. she was at my family friend's place over the weekend. I saw her and omg, she lost 4kg, her face slimmed a lot. i wonder what diet she's going through over there. lols. you really can slim down if you want to.

to me, I feel that there's different stages in life where you should be doing different things. when I was in primary school, I was busy playing soccer and Pokemon and studying cause I was too innocent then. That was what I am supposed to be doing in that stage of life. move on to secondary school, I was busy playing computer games such as dota and ragnarok, mildly interested in girls but not dating anyone, not from the lack of effort though. that was what I'm supposed to do in that stage of life. now that I'm 19, I realise I've grown out of computer games. I no longer play dota nor other games, and use the computer mainly for facebook, blog, my weekly anime fix and all my shows and movies. this laptop has turned more into an entertainment laptop that it was supposed to be in the first place rather than a gaming laptop. i've started spending more time and money going out, chilling, drinking, clubbing. my grandparents are very against me drinking, especially my grandma since my granddad passed away before I was born from drinking too much, but my mum is rather okay with it since she accepts my idea that there is are stages in life and I'm at the right stage of life to be doing what I'm doing. she was also visiting discos (there are no clubs in her time then, it was all discos) and dancing with her friends when she was my age too. I feel that although what I'm doing now is bad, like bad for health, morals and money, but it's acceptable to and okay cause its supposed to be. the logical side of me came up with this whole paragraph to justify my acts while the dark side of me will just say fuck care, who cares about what others think. just do what you like and be happy. both sides done.

I've done a lot of mistakes and bad stuff in my life, and I was never good with determination and discipline, but I'll try my best to make this work. I'll stay clean, only for you and you. because you two matter to me.

back to camp tonight. life sucks all over again.

looking forward to next week! joanna, play club on thursday!

Owl City

2009-11-21T17:55:00.003+08:00

I'm loving Owl City! Their songs are awesome.

Vanilla Twilight

The stars lean down to kiss you

And I lie awake and miss you

Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly

But I'll miss your arms around me

I'd send a postcard to you, dear

'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue

But it's not the same without you

Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad

'Til I look at my hands and feel sad

'Cause the spaces between my fingers

Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways

Though I haven't slept in two days

'Cause cold nostalgia

Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight

I'll sit on the front porch all night

Waist-deep in thought because

When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink

I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter

And heavy wings grow lighter

I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew

But I swear I won't forget you

Oh, if my voice could reach

Back through the past

I'd whisper in your ear

Oh darling, I wish you were here

L-O-V-E's just another word I never learnt to pronounce

2009-11-21T03:00:00.002+08:00

"The intelligent willingness to do the best for another person." - C

What's your definition of love?

c

2009-11-15T18:07:00.003+08:00

and I never got to say I'll miss you. I'll never say goodbye, cause I know its only farewell.

this struggle for morality, to understand and accept the mysteries in life, happenings outside of your beliefs and perspectives.

to c;

I believe that deep down, you are that innocent and sweet person that you are. I can see it in you. there is no going back now, since you started this way before I met you, but I hope you find real happiness and don't stray too far from the path. everyone strays, but stay near.

plagiarized from chee sheng's cousin:

"We club for laughter, we club for tears, we club for madness, we club for fears, we club for hopes, we club for screams".

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here , what we have to do is just enjoy ourselves.

Motivation

2009-11-14T10:39:00.003+08:00

The Courage Of Integrity

The highest courage is to dare to be yourself in the face of adversity; choosing right over wrong ethics over convenience, and truth over popularity... these are the choices that measure your life. Travel the path of integrity without looking back, for there is never a wrong time to do the right thing.

The Sky Is The Limit

Everyone has potential... it is an infinite resource that cannot be exhausted, but can be lost in the shadows of fear and complacency; it make take courage to embrace the possibilities of your own potential, but once you have flown past the summit of your fears, nothing will seem impossible.

The Light Of Optimism

Sometimes we learn the hard way that it does not pay to get discouraged. Positive thinking is an intellectual choice, and by keeping our eyes focused on the light of optimism, we can restore faith in yourselves and stay clear of the shadows.

The Essence Of Success

Successful is the person who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much; who has gained he respect of children, who leaves the world better than they found it, who has never lacked appreciation for the Earth's beauty, who never fails to look for the best in others or give the best of themselves.

Life Is A Journey

In the end, each of us will be judged by our standard of life, not by our standard of living; By our measure of giving, not by our measure of wealth; and by our simple goodness, not by our seeming greatness.

Survive, or perish.

2009-11-06T20:04:00.003+08:00

My mum is finally discharged. She was hospitalized last week for an operation and there was complications in the op; a 4 hour op lasted more than 10 hours. She was warded into ICU for days and subsequently into a normal ward, total spending about 2 weeks in hospital.

I would like to give thanks to God for watching over my mum and blessing her is such trying periods. The most painful agony one can suffer is the agony of waiting, fearful of what's to come, fear of the mysterious. It is in such moments that one seek strength, support and solace in a Divine One. I thank you God once again for your divine protection.

I'm unable to book out this weekend because my whole company is confined to finish up some tasks for some stuff. I get 2 days off, but really, I would rather not get the off and go home. It's something already to not be home for the whole week, can't a guy have his weekends to himself? The sacrifices one must make to serve his nation. I hope I am serving meaningfully, and not all for show or to be abused. One can only hope, for one is powerless in such a monarchic system.

I am trying to clear my leave and off-days, most of them falling in december. I will finally pass out from my engineer course in december. (like, finally? which enlistee course last almost 6 months? I must be one of the longest Private around.) I'll get the last 2 weeks of december as a holiday, so, ask me out people! =D november's gonna be a tough month though.

I'm starting to watch Heroes on my friend's iPod! I don't watch Channel 5, so I've never actually watched Heroes though I'm quite fascinated with it. I have to say Heroes is a really very nice show; the scriptwriter is a genius. The complex plot and the way it unravels... well, for season one, at least. I heard from many that it gets more complicated thereafter. Heroes is very thought-provoking; it always makes me ponder on many issues in life. Friends, you're gonna have a hard time...

So there was this one night when I had high mental activity and couldn't sleep despite being physically tired and should be sleeping since sleep time is extremely rare in here, but here's what I thought of that night, raw and unedited, because I think I should present and share with my concerned readers (I hope so) the honest truth no matter how ugly it is, without pretenses or make up:

"You know this feeling of having so many things to tell somebody yet no time and this need to post all these thoughts somewhere like Twitter or Facebook or blog and why this need? Why tell everyone? Who cares anyway? and precise who cares, because people post to let others know, hoping someone will care for them and it is this need, this want for people to care for them. Yet pride stops you from doing so because to be seen as wanting to be cared for by others makes you weak. but this intense need lets you go ahead with it anyway. and then someone will go ahead and say who says being needed to be cared for is weak. thats bullshit.

but the men knows better.

and I always felt my life was all about doing the wrong things at the wrong time, prioritize, rationalize, be serious vs following what you want, following your heart."

and now for my final closure I would like to post something private, something that shouldn't be here, yet once again I am trusting that my readers are my close friends who are concerned and that I have nothing to hide from them, but thats idealistic thinking. everyone knows everyone has secrets, dark secrets that they hide deep within their hearts, unable to surface because it'll tear you down.

"What are we? I wanna treat you like a close friend but we're not behaving like we are. We don't talk, don't text, don't go out, don't share problems, don't have happy times together. The last time we went out together was so long ago and it wasn't exactly a very good time for you, kinda awkward and a bad memory for you but it was nice seeing you again. We can never be together, but I thought we could at least be friends but we're like, hi bye friends. Just like the other 400 people in my Facebook. Does our years of friendship amount to this? Can we stop stalking each other's blogs and start interacting for once?

You don't even reply to more than half of my messages, though it's lame, I know. You don't go out when I asked either. Not from lack of trying. Though I fully understand how busy you are and all these commitments you have and how tired you are and how distant we are. It's like what my friend said; "This unfamiliarity that exists between friends? Or rather, acquaintances?"

Until next week, when I can finally go home. I hope my mum is recovering well, and my neighbour please finish your renovations asap and stop drilling early in the morning.

Take care everyone.

everyone has issues.

2009-11-02T17:13:00.002+08:00

I'm hanging on a very thin thread.

I'm gonna break soon.

I'm facing many issues.

and there's nothing I can do but put up with it.

ugh.

Angel vs Devil

2009-10-25T17:49:00.002+08:00

It's been one hell of a weekend. literally.

My plans were messed up, spent too much money on worthless things, and fxxked up mood.

I had off day on Friday but had to return to Nee Soon Camp for a parade. Almost the whole of Friday was wasted.

I went out with my cousin on Saturday, went to hunt for this pair of shoes that he wanted. We went to Haji Lane; I love the place. The peace, serenity, tranquil feeling over there. You almost can't find it in Singapore anymore. The shops were unique and artsy; they carried all sorts of stuff from local designer goods to imported stuff. That's why my cousin came here, the pair of shoes that he was looking for isn't some popular label so only a few places carry it. I gotta return to Haji Lane some day again.

We couldn't find the shoes at Haji Lane; the shopowner doesn't carry it anymore. He pointed us to a shop named "butter" at Penisular Plaza. Turned out this so called "butter" is actually... Bata. lols. Surprisingly, the Bata at Penisular Plaza actually carries all sorts of brands. Puma, Adidas, even Lacoste. no size, went off to hunt elsewhere. didn't get what he wanted at the end of the day.

I had various plans for Saturday but all of it was cancelled. Disappointed.

went out to had supper at chomp chomp with the usual people, had frolicks and sang karaoke. first time eating frolicks; it's good. better than yami yoghurt. I'm gonna slap weixun the next time I see him. he didn't wanna go party because he's burned out from his 72km route march, yet he sings R&B songs in karaoke and dances to it. -.-"

the taxi ride home was one of the craziest I ever had. the driver was this old indian who was hard on hearing. weixun and i were conversing in mandarin about the directions home and whenever the driver heard anything in english, he'll suddenly stop the cab and tried to make a turn. at random places. -.-" he told us he was hard on hearing so we started raising our voices to tell him to go straight. lols.

I want a car, buy stuff, learn new stuff. money pls.

was in a hell of a night last night. thanks to friends who pulled me through.

ever felt angst, hotheadedness, despair, anger at the situation you're in.

you against the whole world?

where are the real friends when you need them to tide through rough times?

be wise.

I've crossed the point of no return. my biggest weakness is temptations. to think i've kept reminding myself, only for you, i shant do it since you hate it. yet friends woke me from my senses. i will be strong. only for you. i shall not disappoint you nor my parents, again.

i tried to heed junjin's words, to give myself a chance, to awake from this illusion. but yet everytime i try, i'll think of you, everytime i chanced upon your image, memories and feelings flood back.

the 2 sides of me;
the angel vs the devil.

every goodbye is the birth of a memory.

2009-10-18T03:21:00.004+08:00

Random fact about Keith #1: I'm a sucker for chic flicks!

okay, thats really damn gay, but yeah, I <3 chic flicks hahas. I actually enjoy them, unlike my male friend (read jj) who thinks it's too gay. I watched The Proposal last weekend and The Accidental Husband today. feel good after watching. lols. maybe its like what jj says, chic flicks are like fairytales; they present to you this fantasy about perfect love and romance that is a far cry from reality. idk, I always feel happy after watch a chic flick.

went out with wx and jj for dinner, then wasted time walking around, wanted to go sing k but it was so expensive (deepavali, public holiday pricing) finally went to mel's mac to hang out. mel came so late -.-
I was playing pokemon emerald on jj's psp. made me hooked on pokemon again. jj please go buy that nds lite and lend me to play pokemon!

I wanna join the course! I got 1 guy interested in it too. anybody else interested in joining too?
If I join, I'm gonna miss the first lesson though; advanced demolition live firing and the lesson's non-replaceable.

and that live firing means I'm gonna miss halloween party! =(

oh yeah, I sold off my W850i already. so old alr, and im not using it anymore, plus its abit spoilt. might as well change it to cash. lols.

financial woes.
gotta pay for the course.
gotta buy stuff.
gotta pay back my mum.

let me strike lottery please.
or increase my pay! stupid Employer.

I think I have bipolar disorder.

always can't explain for my different personalities and frequent mood changes, like I can be this person this moment and another person next. no, not schizophrenia, but just like really very depressed until angelin can say read my blog so emo, damn happy read le also will emo and jj say when emo, go read my blog, will suddenly feel his life so much better than mine and will cheer up again. and joanna will start tweeting "stop emoing!" thanks ah people.

then the next moment will be so high that I have no worries and life suddenly seems so beautiful, so great, that I have no fear and willing to do anything.

and no please dont tell me anything about ris low, booms or she being diagnosed with bipolar disorder too. i dont follow pop culture or figureheads that I think theres no big deal about them and why are so many people interested in them. this list includes xiaxue, steven lim, william hung and more. though william hung and steven lim made me laugh. ris low and xiaxue definitely didnt.

I wanna watch (500) days of summer!

I don't like guard duty.

2009-10-18T03:00:00.000+08:00

had a rather slack week, 4 day week plus whole week do nothing except morning pt. after morning pt its wait for lunch, then wait for dinner, then wait for bedtime. I slept at 12.30am on monday night, so I was really tired on tuesday and was waiting for bedtime so I can have a good sleep... at 5pm my sergeant barged into my room and asked me to do guard duty.

immediately.

apparently my platoon mate was scheduled to do guard duty but he was on att c so I had to cover for him and they didn't announce that we had guard duty on tuesday. all 15 of us were notified at last minute and had to go immediately.

there goes my sleep. =(

I had no idea my camp was so big; there were so many places I've never been to before.

I hate guard duty. =(

so, I spent the rest of the week having a headache while slacking in bunk and not able to sleep cause I don't want to sleep on the floor like my platoon mates (my floor is very dirty, nobody mops it, only sweep) and we're not allowed to sleep on the bed. so imagine you being extremely sleepy with a splitting headache, sitting next to your bed but you can't sleep on it.

nice.

Dream A Little Dream Of Me

2009-10-11T22:58:00.001+08:00

Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"
Birds singin' in the sycamore trees
Dream a little dream of me

Say nighty-night and kiss me
Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me
While I'm alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
I'm longin' to linger till dawn dear
Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

(instrumental break)

Stars shining up above you
Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"
Birds singin' in the sycamore trees
Dream a little dream of me

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

Yes, dream a little dream of me

Stop living a lie, start living a life.

2009-10-09T21:15:00.001+08:00

A long holiday! I'm lovin' it!

Butter Cookies on wednesday night. the queue is unimagineable, both inside and outside. was not bad initially, until the crowd gets unbearable. I got bored and wanted out by 1.30am. met a lot of familiar faces though. should have sticked to the usual place and joined my platoon mates at phuture instead. We could have mambo-ed! Chee Sheng's starting to get interested in mambo. Like, finally? I'm no longer the only lame guy who likes mambo! hahas!

sorry, Butter Cookies, I grew up with you, but now its time say goodbye.

I'm swearing loyalty to Phuture.

went Orchard Ion with platoon mates on thursday. ate, walked around, went to watch Surrogates at Lido after that. kinda stupid how 6 army guys sat outside the place waiting for 1 hour for the movie to start, and some even fell asleep. lols.

Surrogate's not bad, but got me into thinking. felt like a General Paper film to me, like, about morality and the absolute right and wrong. guess life's never black and white; it's a whole patch of grey.

Finally, good news! Jailbreak on iTouch 2G 3.1.1 is out! Here's the catch; it only works on Mac OS X! major =( ! I'm gonna borrow Mac OS X from yueshi to jailbreak it!

The many faces of life, the many faces of me.

2009-10-09T21:01:00.002+08:00

of extremities and varieties.

can't really afford to live my current lifestyle; do I head back to Earth or do I stay happy?

Some says I treat life too easily, don't take life seriously, wasting my life away.

Am I at that stage of life where all this is normal, or is it just me that life is too short to be taken seriously?

of addictions and pleasures.

I feel like living a masquerade, many facades of me.

yet every single one of it is me.

how do you live so many lives when you only have one?

or do I not have a life at all?

Indeed, the truth is ugly.

趁爱未深，放弃比较好

2009-10-09T20:58:00.004+08:00

Hopes dashed, dreams shattered, heart torn.

All I'm left with are memories.

What must I do to wake up from this reverie?

Confidence can only get you so far; any more and it's naivety.

You have an idea of what you want, you have a checklist.
and I'm definitely not on it.

I know this, I do,
and yet I still think of you when I wake up in the morning.

Do you forgive my past mistakes, or are some things unforgivable?

Do you give second chances, or am I out forever?

I Got A Feeling

2009-10-03T21:16:00.003+08:00

:(

2009-10-03T17:00:00.000+08:00

I'm almost done with my origami!

It's a Wonder Girls 1000th Annniversay project by WGSpectacle. (Wonder Girls fan club; they're very proactive and often sends stuff to Wonder Girls! I mean, how often does a fan club really gets stuff to their idols? So far, half of the stuff that they sent can be seen in the background of photos and videos of Wonder Girls on YouTube!)

They're gonna send 1000 pieces of origami to each of the 5 girls, that makes 5000 origami. Fans are invited to send in origami in multiples of 50 - 10 of each - stars, hearts, cranes, turtles and butterflies. I was intending to send in 100 and did 80 already; I'm left with the butterflies.

I've started folding about 2 months back but stopped at 60 until this week. My bunkmates even helped to fold some! The deadline's is in 2 or 3 weeks away, and the fan club is based in USA, so I went to check courier prices today.

IT COSTS ABOUT $40 TO SHIP 100 PIECES OF FOLDED PAPER ACROSS THE WORLD!

They don't even weigh 500 grams!

So sad lah, waste all my effort. Thought I could do something for Wonder Girls, no matter the size of effort.

SingPost and FedEx prices don't really differ that much, if I consider the time factor.

I don't think I'm going to pay for it; it's not worth it to waste this kind of money when my pay's so low.

sad lahhh. =(

Twisted obsession?

2009-10-03T16:30:00.001+08:00

Had a tiring week. Battalion runs, combat run, outfield training and carrying some stupid tracks that weigh 127kg each, 8 in total. Whole body aching.

However, I like to say this week's training was very productive. At least we managed to do get things done. Half the time, my employers are rather inefficient. (as pointed out by ee hern)

I'm rather happy for the progress this week, minus the incidents that happened in camp. Damned joshua and the bangla incident.

You know, you'll meet all sorts of people in National Service. I got a platoon mate who was Jordan Lum in Living with Lydia and I saw another sergeant in my unit that looked very familiar. Turns out he acted in some shows for Channel 8; must be an extra, since he always plays the bad guy or the kid who got kicked and bullied. hahas.

You'll also meet gangsters and straight As who signed on as a regular in SAF Band. Then you'll meet the guy who spent the better part of his life in Australia and left 1 more month before he gain Australian citizenship and had to come back to serve for 2 years, and the rich.

The rich.

He, who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and never experienced the harsh reality of life, thinks that a $8000 salary is too little. Whenever he talks about how easy it is to get money and how much he spends, I'll always think about how hard it is to earn money and the poor people out there. Not that I'm blaming him for being born into a rich family, but it just irks me everytime it happens.

The side effects of working too many underpaid jobs. hahas.

Had a night of same old problem and texted this guy who never fails to intrigue me with intelligent answers and quotes. Dude, you make me feel stupid half the time.

So, twisted obsession? I don't think so, but yet it makes sense.
A wrong I couldn't make right, a regret I couldn't let go.

I think not.
I choose to believe.
To believe in myself, my choices and my faith.

and you girl, are confusing me once again.

Oh yes, OFF DAY!

I got off on thursday to monday! 5 days!!!
I can finally go for CCA after like what, 3 months?
I told the gang I'm free and everyone's now making plans to avail themselves that night too.
LOL.

Come for CCA everybody!

P.S. JJ, I'm so gonna take that "WISH YOU WERE HERE." LOL.

Thinking Soldiers

2009-09-30T17:51:00.004+08:00

I am so indignant right now.

Although I'm forced by law to serve National Service, I serve willingly albeit grudgingly in the knowledge that I'm learning to defend my nation, to protect my country.

I may be spending 2 years of my time, underpaid (I would be paid more as a cashier at a supermarket or a waiter, and these are unskilled jobs. I'm an A Level holder.), but at least I am doing my part for my family, my friends, my fellowmen, my country. If Singapore ever goes to war, I swear I will stay back and take up arms to fight.

The SAF often talk about "Thinking Soldiers" and is damn proud of its "3rd Generation" and its Technology.

The Defence sector gets the biggest cut of the Budget.

Then can someone explain to me why in God's name are we, trained soldiers who are here to lay our lives for our country, tasked to clean out an underground sludge tank by taking buckets of sludge and dump it right outside the gate? Although the bangla worker is IN the tank, digging and filling the buckets for us. (I respect him for his professionalism in carrying out his duties despite the disgusting working conditions.)

I asked my Platoon Sergeant, a Polytechnic graduate, a diploma holder, why are we doing this, he told me "don't ask why, ask how much more." Following that was a lashing down by him on my attitude.

I may have an attitude problem, but hey, I am a "Thinking Soldier". I spent 12 years of education, at the very least I am capable of questioning the logic behind this? You expect 12 years of education to turn me into a "lan lan suck thumb" soldier? You're insulting the Singapore education system.

I may have an attitude problem, I may score lousy grades, but at least I THINK and I don't see the logic. All I'm asking for is WHY are we doing this, to see the reason behind doing this so that I'll do it willingly.

So much for LEADERSHIP, so much for SILVER BAYONET.

For those who think I'm complaining too much like a typical Singaporean, I think I am entitled to my freedom of speech and my own emotions. What's more, go take a look at buckets of sludge that remembles human waste and clear 8 buckets of it before commenting. The best part? We're clearing the tank because SAF has the brains to install a high tech cleaning system that clears the waste water and sludge from washing tanks and stores them in a tank, but oops, sorry, I, er, forgot to install a way to clear the tank. Let's just wait for it to get full then.

PUB has the brains to construct an underground tank underneath a school field that can store 300 gallons of rainwater to prevent flooding, they also had the brains to build a pump and pump everything out.

Please don't cite cost reasons to me because apart from having a big budget, the SAF waste thousands in food rations. You have no idea how much food is wasted.

Talk about dying kids in Africa.

(The next day)

Ok, I've chilled off. My words were a tad harsh, but well, thats how i felt at the moment yesterday.

Something happened today that just proved my point.

Platoon 6 Platoon Sergeant tasked us to clean up the camp compound and before we started, in his words: "I'm telling you why we are doing this now, because HQ (something) is coming down to check for stagnant water and we're the only company in camp. (other companies on off day.) When we off day, the other companies will do work in our stead. Don't say this is shit work."

That's the whole point of my complaints - explaining the rationale behind our work so we can do willingly. ITE graduate (or so I heard) has better sense than diploma holder.

Just came back from PC interview. Apparently my Platoon Commander agrees that "Thinking Soldiers" is bullshit. LOL.

Happy Children's Day!

Try

2009-09-28T02:19:00.005+08:00

If I walk would you run , If I stop would you come
If I say you’re the one, would you believe me

If I ask you to stay, would you show me the way
Tell me what to say, so you don’t leave me

The world is catching up to you
while your running away
to chase your dream

Its time for us to make a move
cause we are asking one another to change
and maybe I'm not ready

CHORUS
But I'm trying for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
we’ve been hiding enough

If I sing you a song, would you sing along
or wait till I'm gone, oh how we push and pull

If I give you my heart, would you just play the part
or tell me it’s the start, of something beautiful

Am I catching up to you
while your running away
to chase your dreams

It's time for us to face the truth
cause we are coming to each other to change
and maybe I'm not ready

CHORUS
But I'm trying for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
we’ve been hiding enough

I will try for your love, I can hide up above

2x Huh huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh huh huhhh

If I walk would you run
If I stop would you come
If I say you’re the one
would you believe me

This song is dedicated to you.

Dream it - Earn it - Live it

2009-09-27T02:45:00.003+08:00

The best $8 I ever spent.

Fame was awesome! Okay, so it has rather lacklustre ratings online and the two blokes sitting on either side of me (read junjin and weixun) didn't really enjoy it, but I found it very uplifting. The music and the dance kinda kept me high and I like the part about the sad reality. Jenny was kinda pretty, maybe cause of the innocence she portrays.

3 of us went to play the dance machine in the arcade after that. Seriously, we can't dance. We were like flushing money down the drain cause we kept failing? lols.

The taxi uncle is a speeder siaa. He was rather chatty and showed us his letter from the Government about his traffic offences. He got 18 demerit points already. lols. I was kinda afraid when he took both hands off the steering wheel to demostrate the manual brake thingy when the car was zooming. >.<

Gotta sleep!

Ciao!

overwhelmed.

2009-09-25T16:01:00.003+08:00

whatswrongwithme.

off day today. booked out late last night, almost couldnt get public transport home. had a very good, well deserved rest. although it was a short week (Monday off, Friday off), it was one of the most tiring week.

went out with my childhood friends on Monday. went to Xin Wang HK Cafe at Cineleisure. The food wasn't good and terribly overpriced, but the milk tea was good, so was the ambience. had a damn good time catching up with the guys and talking about old times. lifted up my mood a lot.

had live range on Tuesday and Wednesday. couldn't sleep on monday night, dozed off only at 1AM. so I had only about 4 hours of sleep. Live range was from 7AM to 11PM. Slept only at around 12AM, and had to wake up by 5.30AM again the next day. didn't get my "7 hours of rest" entitlement.

I didnt get marksman. barely passed, so there goes my marksmanship badge and $200. I was looking foward more to the monetary incentive though. I got full marks for my Instinctive Action drills, but the rest of the shots were terrible. M16 is really harder to use as compared to SAR21, especially at night. The optical scope and laser aiming device helps a lot.

The lack of sleep throughout the week made me delirious and irrational, jibbering crap and doing stupid things at times. Damn.

had post Army Open House Battle World Celebration on Thursday. Got to relax, chill out at the mess, have some good food from the same cookhouse vendor. They proved that they are capable of food thats not bad and yet they still serve food that sucks at the cookhouse. watched this video and CO gave a speech. after watching the video, I felt this sense of achievement, that those 5 days of sentry duty was worth it. CO did mention us and gave us credit. It's like, I did my part and made this whole event a success. I wonder how others felt, but I sure felt accomplished that day.

Everyone goes though this Pokemon phase in their life, most got out of it. Apparently, some of us in Platoon 5 haven't got out of it. My sergeant has the Pokemon theme song as his ringtone and is looking to borrow Pokemon cartridge and GameBoy from us. Leon is a total Pokemon fan and brought in Pokemon cards to play. You'll think it stop here. My bunk and Joshua are fighting to play the Pokemon cards. lols.

been in a wreck this whole week, especially today. emotionally, I mean. maybe its the fatigue, maybe its the anime that I watched. hope to settle down and get things sorted out. canttakethisforlong.

Love is out of the equation anymore. It's an overrused word, so I'm dropping it. All I want now is to see you happy; to hear your voice, your laughter, to see you smile and to share some good times with you. It's not happening, but I hope I'll get around to it some day. You're hard to read, can't figure you out, but nonetheless just to let you know, you're missed.

I'm full of imperfections.

nemo lilo.

Art of Tahan

2009-09-19T18:06:00.004+08:00

Slice of Life

2009-09-14T10:18:00.003+08:00

What can I say, nothing beats being at home. =)

It's been a very tough two weeks, interesting nonetheless. Army Open House, Basic Demolition Live Firing, dead bird and accidents.

Army Open House has been quite successful, I think. Although I wasn't at the frontline, I heard from friends that reception was very good and there were long queues at Battle World.

A big thank you to all that came to support us and make our sacrifices worth it!

A total of 8 days of sentry duty, feeding mosquitoes out in the forest isn't my ideal way to contribute to Army Open House, but oh well, LLST.

The Mortar Track Carrier's officer kept borrowing my signal set, leaving me without communications. He's quite a nice guy though, LTA Khoo. On Friday, the last day of the Firepower Demostration, his friend (not sure what rank since he's in admin tee), shook my hands with a smile.

Why?
Because...
HE ORD LOH!

1 year 6 months to go for me to shout ORD. =(
On the other hand, I'm officially a half year soldier!
I've gone through 1/4 of this shit. 3/4 more to go!

Oh yeah, we were supposed to end work around 6PM during Army Open House but we ended late on Friday, waiting in the dark while the mosquitoes (they must be zombie-types) started to swarm out of nowhere and "blitzkrieg"-ed us. No one was none the wiser why the tonner haven't come to pick us up until 7plus, then our OIC told us cause there was a special run for a General (one star).

double-u tee eff lahh.

You can't join the rest of the civilians and queue up for the ride is it. Must after the ride close le then you come and ride, make everyone do a special run for you. Especially on a friday night when I'm supposed to be booking out and yet I'm here doing this shit and you gotta make it harder for me?

Niao niao.

Oh yeah, and CO came to bribe us on a Saturday... with a carton of Yeo's Black Soy Milk and Kong Guan Lemon Puff Biscuits. I've been drinking soy milk almost every meal for AOH and now each sentry post has a carton. We were like, o.O. Everyone's so sick of the soy milk we gave it to the butt party. lols. The Kong Guan biscuits? Didn't touch it, cause eat until sian le. Wen Jun actually said he likes it and got addicted to it. Poor Wen Jun. hahas.

Sentry Party!

Live Firing Safari

Had 2 nights outs during my 2 weeks. Went to Lot 1 and Jurong SAFRA. Saw Kang Yixuan at Lot 1. Went SAFRA to play lan, lots of teens on a Tuesday night. We went to buy fast food before cabbing back to camp and everyone bought mac except Jian Yang who went to buy Mos Burger and we had to wait. It was like, 10.15PM and we had to book in by 11PM. Joshua was like saying, Mos Burger is slow food, not fast food. You gotta buy at 9.30PM. I was telling this story to Jun Jin on the cab and the taxi uncle was laughing lah. lols.

Went outfield to do camouflaging of vehicle some days ago, was returning to camp already when a sergeant accidentally had his fingers slammed by the tailboard of a 5 tonner. You have no idea how heavy that tailboard is. His fingernails totally came off and was bleeding profusely. He was in so much pain that he fainted. Thank goodness the medic from Armoured Infantry Office Cadet Course was quick and proficient. I was sitting near the end of the tonner and I saw the whole incident. OMG man. I was feeling damn uneasy and queasy. Can't take such shit. Looks like I'll never make it to be a medic or a doctor. =/

Had standby bed on friday, so we cleaned our bunks. My bed was next to the corridor and there was a pillar there so theres this gap between the window and my bed thats hard to walk through. I walked into that gap to clean the windows and found this dead colourful bird lying right next to my bed, where my pillow is. Thank God I slept on the opposite end the night before. I've no idea how long the dead bird's been there and how did it ever came in, since I'm staying on the 4th floor and my windows are tilted down. The only logical reason is it came in from the windows on the other end and flew across the whole room before commiting suicide against my windows. I was like, ***. My bunkmate was like, looks dead leh. He picked it up by the beak and then said, eh looks real leh. *** lah!!

Not my first experience with birds commiting suicide, but NEXT TO MY BED!? If there wasn't a standby bed, God knows how long it'll be there lah. basket.

That dead bird brought back memories in Cougar. It was the first week of enlistment and we were forming up at our usual area next to the staircase. There are a lot of "suicide windows" in BMT to prevent recruits from commiting suicide, but these panels are transparent and birds flying at high speeds can't tell its a suicide window. They fly head on, full speed and collide with the window and drop dead. Everyone was forming up when we heard a thud and saw the bird drop down right in front of us. The bird was near me and I can still remember the look on the bird, that dazed eyes, life ebbing away from it until it died. A life snuffed, all we did was to get the broom and swept it away.

Life's precious, man.

Had Basic Demolition Live Firing on Saturday. OMG, the explosion was damn cool lah! BOOM. The only good thing about being Combat Engineers is the demolition part. I was the firer for the non-electric simple junction box and had to ignite the fuse and run up to the cover. The shockwave that followed after... way cool. This is only 1.5kg of TNT. Wait til Advanced Demolition!

Okay, last babbling. I plugged my iTouch into the PC and it asked me to update to 3.1.1 and so I did. BIG MISTAKE. My iTouch can't be jailbroken now, all goes my free apps. DAMN IT. Nobody told me the 3.1.1 can't be jailbroken until I tried to use. For those with iTouch, DON'T UPDATE IT. Anyway, iTouch 3rd Gen is out. 2 months after I bought mine? sucks lah.

Okay, got things to do, and booking in tonight. They still owe us about 2-3 days of off days. At least this week is a 4 day week and pay's in. Small consolation huh. Gonna go party next week! Who's up?

Here's a vid that I saw on Facebook. It's quite old, but still funny.

building a LIFE.

2009-09-05T22:28:00.003+08:00

alright, here's a quick post from my hp.

aoh's halfway through now. 2 more days of sentry. not including the fact that i've got insect bites all over from head to toe, the main reason why i hate sentry duty is - 8x12 =96 hours of my life gone, precious time that can never be taken back, gone, on staring at nothing. hell, i could be doing so many other things with 96 hours. even reading a book, sleeping or doing other duties at aoh beats doing nothing. it makes me feel as if i'm wasting my life away. time's precious, man.

done with the ranting, been doing some reading and watching. i'm gonna commit myself to this, so next week onwards, I'm a changed man.

"It's not just about -, it's about BUILDING A LIFE."

abcdefg

2009-08-29T17:41:00.001+08:00

ok heres a quick post.

cant book out for the next 2 weeks.

army open house + demolition live firing.

13 days in camp.

gonna do sentry for army open house.

done it for 3 days, cannot tahan.

try fighting mosquitoes that are not afraid of mosquito coils, guarding a locked gate in the middle of forest for 12 hours.

my job: to prevent people from crossing the gate.

verdict: no vehicles come by my area at all.

then: my buddy resorted to counting ants on the floor, chasing birds and squirrels, evading a hornet and making funny noises.

and try not to visit army open house yeah?

its wayang to the max.

ask me about it.

the next time you complain about prices of flour or petrol, think of SAF.

headache.

i wanna eat popeyes!

weixun's flying off to brunei.

junjin's confined for ASLC.

aloy's flying off on 9 sep.

kynaston's birthday in 2 days.

payday in 2 weeks.

ok im sick of everything alr.

Boredom was the other word for a safe and undisturbed life.

2009-08-23T02:46:00.005+08:00

Blogger is fixed! I hope it stays this way. weihui already defected to LiveJournal. =(

I'm starting to get used to 4 day week. Been getting a number of it ever since I entered this unit. I was so upset when I had to book out on normal hours (5.30PM) last week; imagine my sianness when I booked out at 9PM last night. o.O

had driving lesson this morning. been driving for half a year still can stall 3 times. sian diao. wonder how I'm gonna pass my test. I want my licence!

I want a car too! so I can go zooming at night when I'm upset!
Audi!

I wanna go get Class 2B after Class 3.
can't let my mum pay for this one cause she don't allow me to take Class 2B. =x

went VivoCity with my cousins to buy a birthday present for another cousin.
realised been milleniums since I last shopped.
I must be a caveman or something.

oh yeah, I saw chen liping with her husband and kid at vivocity!
she look so different laa.

went to Tampines SAFRA for family dinner, grandfather's birthday.
same old place again. tired of it already la.
eat 3 times already leh. you not sian I also sian.
can dont so LC anot. at least eat pariss or something la.
LOL.

karmy's gone! flew off to Boston on friday.
no more ome festivals.
SEND POSTCARDS BACK OKAY!
I SENT A WEBCAM TO YOU, WHATS POSTCARDS!? :@

am at my cousin's chalet. 21st birthday.
congratulations to Kenneth for reaching adulthood!
you are now fully responsible for every single action you made
and are no longer eligible to have crazy fun and be forgiven for it.
not that you do that anyway.

cant imagine when I turn 21.
what will I do man.

stuck at the chalet. full of kenneth's friends. all 21 yr olds and seggregated into groups.
where are my mahjong kakis?! all pangseh me!

oh yeah!
I'm into Big Bang now!
I love TaeYang, OMG, he's so cool man.
his mohawk and his style.
his dance is AWESOME.

i wanna get a mohawk someday!

Singapore Bay Run / Army Half Marathon 2009

2009-08-16T21:55:00.000+08:00

okay, and now for my official post.

booked in yesterday. didnt had dinner, so i ate instant noodles in camp. the moment i cooked my noodles, i had to go down for role call which lasted half an hour. by the time i got back, my noodles were gone case. -.-"

lights out at 8.30pm, couldnt sleep til 9.30pm cause of full stomach. was trying to do carbo loading for the run. lol.

woke up at 4am, board bus at 5am, reached only at almost 7am and was late for the run. why?

THE CHEENA BUS THAT THE SAF INDENTED HORLAN-ED EN ROUTE TO PADANG.

padang leh! he could even reach jurong island before turning up the expressway, he couldn't go padang!?

i saw the following MRT stations while he was trying to find his way:
chinatown
clarke quay
dhoby ghaut
raffles place
city hall
tanjong pagar

he even abadoned the bus. parked the bus at the side of the road, went down the bus with a map in hand to check the bus stop for our location while standing in the MIDDLE of the lane.

an SBS bus came right behind him head on, and he didn't even move an inch. we were whacking the windows, trying to gain his attention. lol.

I guess he prolly brought the Map of People's Republic of China or as what joshua said, the map was in swedish or something.

we followed ben's directions until we saw ppl walking towards padang. we immediately stopped the uncle, fall in in the middle of town and counted strength. while a pretty girl walked past us. nice one la, SAF.

reached padang liao, we horlan on the ground again.

supposed to find this war memorial where the combat engineers formation's bag deposit point was. we didnt know there were TWO war memorials and went to the other one. we had to cross this road and arrived.. in the middle of nowhere.

so we went all the way back. and was late for the run. had to start off together with the women's 10km.

ran initially, then had big walk, then ran the last 2km. walked about 6km i think.

joshua and gang was like tailing this 2 girls wearing "Jesus Loves You, Run with Him" t-shirts. then the girls got stitch and lagged behind. the gang slowly walked waiting for the girls to catch up.

wenjun and i ran first ourselves and found the girls in the front. i think they were 6km runners and turned earlier than us, given that their running pace was like my walking pace.

joshua was so sad. LOL.

after the run, had lunch at marina square foodcourt with weixun, my cousin and his 2 friends.

phiten doesn't work, weixun. dont fall for the scam. i knew it already.

went home and rotted until now.

you know whats more sucky than booking in?

having a day off and stuck at home rotting, because you got no money to spend and nobody ask you out.

so basically i spent the whole day emoing at home over certain matters.

nice one.

SIAN LAH.

emolified.

2009-08-16T21:35:00.000+08:00

(*)K(*) says:
cool
I CAN MAKE A STORY
ONCE UPON A TIME
THERE WAS AN OME GUY
WHO WENT TO THE OME FESTIVAL
AND CELEBRATED IT
BY EATING SCRAMBLED EGGS WHICH SCRAMBLED HIS BRAIN.

OHHH
AND THEN I CAN ADD
THEN OME GUY
WENT TO THE
ELIMS FESTIVAL AND ATE A SUNNY SIDE UP : )

morale of the story.
never talk crap with an arts student.
especially one who can cranks you up instantly on an emo day.

About Love

2009-08-15T15:50:00.001+08:00

The irony of love is loving the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right, and finding out that you love someone right after that person has walked out of your life.

Sometimes you think you’re already over a person, but when you see them smile at you, you suddenly realize that you’re just pretending to be over them, just to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again.

For some, letting go is one way of expressing how much they love a person, but for others it’s holding on to that special feeling as long as possible before it fades away.

Most relationships tend to fail not because of the absence of love, love is always present, it’s just that one was being loved too much and the other wasn’t being loved enough.

We all know that the heart is the centre of the body, but it beats on the left.

Maybe that’s the reason why the heart is not always right.

Most often, we fall in love with the person we think we love only to discover that for them, we are just a pass time, while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger.

So here’s a piece of advice: let go when you are hurting too much.

Give up when you or the other believes love isn’t enough, and move on when things are not like before.
There is someone out there who will honestly love you, and only then will you know true love.

From Kimberley's blog.

Not to be needed is a slow death for a man.

2009-08-15T15:14:00.005+08:00

yoohoo! I'm back!

I initally had a lot of things to blog about, but I lost all mood when I saw that Blogger is still spoilt.

Oh well.

Went to watch Where Got Ghost? with weixun and junjin last night. Midnight show about ghosts? LOL. I don't watch horror, but since this is hor-medy, I gave it a go. It's a no brainer show but all NSF should watch it. Especially about the 2nd segment of the show, about the 2 NSmen. Damn funny lah. It's very alike NS also, like copy wholesale. I thought most shows that are trying to imitate NS do it halfway only. The orange part is damn funny and OMG, I was totally freaked out by the grandma and the pillow. I shouted. LOL.

Went for driving. Test's next week. Not gonna flunk it again. Mum's gonna kill me for it. Wasted so much money. Still can't get some things right. guess I'm just too nervous or too geykiang. hais.

Army Half Marathon tomorrow, 10KM for 1st year soldiers. Book in tonight. =(
I don't think I can run finish the whole thing. Big walk as usual, platoon 5?

Been feeling kind of cranked up lately.

Reading all sorts of books in NS. NS is so pathetic that everyone, I really mean everyone, is reading inside the bunks. Almost everyone has at least 2 books in their cupboard and everyone's sharing books. I've already read like 5-6 books already. wth. -.-"

Previous few posts did not refer to matherine. just so you know.

Took another walk down memory lane once again, and asked myself the same question over and over again.
Shan't brood over it and stuck in the past like what I've done for years.
It's over, move on.
Then wasn't the right time.
I think I'm ready for it now.
God forgive, give me another chance.
I will make this right, to the best of my ability.

Why are you so unreadable?
So cold, so passive, shunting away.
Since the start and now, what's holding me back is the fear of totally losing you.
You're just that important.
After all these years, huh.

Damn, a few more hours left to book in time. Shall continue blogging after I come back from the run. Monday off day!

To sign off, here's my favourite song in Phuture! I love it Mambo style!

(music removed cause it was irritating after 1 month.)

see the first time me lookin at your eyes
me be tell you want a guy like me
we use to ave gud times on da evenin
me an you chillin on da beach

we use to kiss and caress an chess me
girl it feels so sweet
den one day you move
now im feelin kinda blue
cause we had to see you leave

I feel like im drownin in da ocean
somebody come and take me away

Oh oh oh oh oh
Why did you have to go
away from home
me love
Oh oh oh oh oh
Why did you have to go
away from home
me love

now im sittin in a chair wit noone here
an im feelin all alone
thinkin to myself like
damn why my baby up and gone
its like im missin her and I know shes missin me
its been two years an a half in july will make it three.

I feel like im drownin in da ocean
somebody come and take me away

Oh oh oh oh oh
Why did you have to go
away from home
me love
Oh oh oh oh oh
Why did you have to go
away from home
me love

why you leave me, wuh why you leave me
baby tell me, beh baby tell me
why you leave me, wuh why you leave me
why you leave me

why you leave me, wuh why you leave me
baby tell me, beh baby tell me
why you leave me, wuh why you leave me
why you leave me

I feel like im drownin in da ocean
somebody come and take me away

Oh oh oh oh oh
Why did you have to go
away from home
me love
Oh oh oh oh oh
Why did you have to go
away from home
me love
Oh oh oh oh oh
Why did you have to go
away from home
me love
Oh oh oh oh oh
Why did you have to go
away from home
me love

why you leave me, wuh why you leave me
baby tell me beh baby tell me
why you leave me, wuh why you leave me

Empty Heart

2009-08-10T17:13:00.008+08:00

8eight - 심장이 없어 (Empty Heart)

Translation

If I say that I'm in pain, I'm scared that I'll really be in pain
If I say that I'm sad, I'm scared that I will shed my tears
Why don't I just laugh, just laugh, just laugh...
But people ask me why I'm crying...

Everyday I cry, I smile, cry then smile again
What's wrong with me, why do I do this repeatedly?
Can't differentiate between bottles of alcohol and meals
So far in my life, I never felt pain this excruciating
Absentmindedly, I write your name over and over on a piece of paper
In a day, the paper becomes black and I finally let the pen go
I long for you, I hold on to my cellphone and let it go
my eyes are filling up with tears again, this seperation between us..

I'm without a heart, I don't have a heart
So I wouldn't be feeling pain
Everyday I talk to myself, and put myself under a spell
But even so, I keep shedding my tears

If I say that I'm in pain, I'm scared that I'll really be in pain
If I say that I'm sad, I'm scared that I will shed my tears
Why don't I just laugh, just laugh, just laugh...
But people ask me why I'm crying,
when I'm laughing like this...

After you left, I think I became a fool
I can't do, I can't do anything, so I die.
I shove myself into a corner and live
Without you there's nothing left to do
A day is too long, way too long
But what was I busy with, to make you feel so lonely,
when you wanted to go shopping, going out with my friends
was so easy, but why couldn't I do the same to you?
I always regretted being so slow,
I don't know if I'm really stupid, but I still can't let go of our bond.

I'm without a heart, I don't have a heart
Again today, I can see through your lies
My heart is in so much pain, I'm begging for your help
How can I smile in times like this?

If I say that I'm in pain, I'm scared that I'll really be in pain
If I say that I'm sad, I'm scared that I will shed my tears
Why don't I just laugh, just laugh, just laugh...
But people ask me why I'm crying,
when I'm laughing like this...

(let's smile) like couples in dramas
(let's smile) like the title of your blog
(let's smile) happy like in my past

I'm without a heart, I can't be in pain
I'm without a heart, I can't be in pain
Let's just laugh, just laugh, just laugh
Please, please let's stop crying now...

Romanization

apeudago malhamyon jeongmal apeul got gataseo
seulpeudago malhamyeon nunmuri nal got gataseo
genyang utji genyang utji genyang utji
geurondae saramdeuli wae unyago muleo

rap
maeireul uldaga utdaga uldaga eutneungol banboghae
na wae ireoneundae
suri surinji babinjido moreuneun jae
sara i jeongdo apeumeun tonggwa eiryaein deut hae
meonghani jongiae nado mollae ni ireumman jeogeo haru win jungil
jungiga sikeomaejigoseoya paeneul nwa
no geuriwo cco haendeuponeul dereotda nwa
nunmuri ddo cajawa neowaui ibyeol iran

naneun simjangil eobseo naneun simjangil eobseo
geuraeseo apeun geol neuggilli eobseo
maeil honjatmareulhae naegae jumuneul goreo
geuraedo jaggu nunmuri naneun geol

apeudago malhamyeon jeongmal apeul geot gataseo
seulpeudago malhamyeon nunmuri nal geot gataseo
genyang utji genyang utji genyang utji
geurondae saramdeuli wae unyago muleo ireohgae utneundae

rap
niga ddeonagobuteo nan baboga dwin geot gateo
i can't do amugeotdo jugeora bangguseogae baghyeon sareo
neo eobsin hal ildo eobtneundae harun gileo neomu gileo
geundae mwo geuri babbeo neol wirobgae haesseo
niga syoping gaja geureol ddae cinguwa sul hanjan masineun geon gereohgae
swi undae wae neohantae muthaesseulga
eonjaena jaeil neurin gae huhwiraetneundae
jeongmal babonji ggeutggaji neowaui ggeneul nohji mothae

naneun simjangi eobseo naneun simjangi eobseo
oneuldo bbeonhan geojitmareul hae
gasuemi neom apeundae ireohgae bojaeneundae
eoddeohgae euseul suga itgaesseo

apeundago malhamyeon jeongmal apeul geot gataseo

seulpadago malhamyeon nunmuri nal geot gataseo
geunyang utji geunyang utji geunyang utji
geurondae saramdeuli wae unyaego muleo ireohgae eutneundae

(utja) tv sog yeonaeindeul cheoreom
(utja) noui minihompy jaemogcheoreom
(utja) haengbokhaetdeon nae eojaecheoreom

naneun simjangi eobseo apeulsuga nan eobseo
naneun simjangi eobseo apeulsuga nan eobseo
genyang eutja genyang eutja genyang eutja
jaebal jom nunmura ijaeneun meomchweojweo

after the sleep

2009-08-10T10:46:00.000+08:00

feeling even more shit.

one-itis.

how can one have so many feelings at the same time.

and i know the whole thing's impossible.

back to square one, all my weaknesses surfacing.

TIME TO GO OUT.

butter factory

2009-08-10T05:48:00.000+08:00

slept for only 2 hours last night.

hid at home the whole day. weixun wanted to sleep at home and junjin had to book in for route march. Sad ass.

Went to my grandparents' place for dinner. watched a little bit of NDP. like always (well not always, but now I'll like to think of it as always), it sucked.

didnt know how to appreciate the parade in the past, until NS taught me about parades (POP loh!). the parade commander's commands sucked, just like a specific sergeant in my company.

same gang decided to go butter factory tonight, unsatisfied with yesterday's party. sherman even came right after NDP, without sleep since yesterday. chiongster indeed.

the new butter factory's so far. a tad bigger than the old one, but the view here's nicer, with the water and all.

drinks sucked. expensive and not much kick. realised the only thing keeping us back from patronising other clubs other than phuture was the availability of cheap booze. lols.

the world's a really damn small place. met joanna and found out joanna knew serene. group instantly doubled and fishing became a breeze. lols.

maybe some things never changed much despite all these years.
my flaw.
and so is my lack of guts.

blah.

2009-08-09T12:16:00.001+08:00

okay, blogger is fxxking up again. the toolbar is still not back. c'mon, do your job!

went to help out at SGWonderful's Wonder Girls 1000th Anniversary filming. went straight from singapore discovery centre where my unit decide to waste time and sent us there, complete with a 45min 3D documentary consisting of dolphins and whales making noises and how they are dying. it was totally, omg. waste of my time. i could have booked out earlier or something. went to republic poly. i didnt know there's a subway there! my sis didn't tell me. made me waste money buy burger king when i could have had subway. damn. the filming was kinda fun. met new people, some were cool. like, i saw this 5 secondary school girls performing Nobody 3 times in a row, exact moves. lol. guess its a one time thing though. dont think theres any chance to meet up with them anymore. jeremy and nelson were swell.

went to eat and club with the same gang on sat. drinking was good, drunk enough but the crowd.. cmi. i swear there was this guy in a funny hat that almost hid his eyes who was grinding me. KNS. the drunkness was so awesome i felt i could do anything, like, anything. went home and slept for 2 hours before the alcohol poofed and redbull kicks in.

i got alot of things to buy!
not enough money!
AHHH.

I give up.

2009-08-01T20:03:00.000+08:00

I think it's God's will (even though I'm still skeptical about Him) that we get to know each other and become unlikely friends among all the shit surrounding this whole thing. You may not understand from my point of view, but hell, what you don't understand is enough to fill several encylopaedias. I have low tolerance and a short fuse, I've been trying very hard to do my part as a friend and pull you back to the correct path. I don't know how much you trust God and His ways, seeing that you are a self proclaimed Catholic and I, an agnostic, but I feel God has made me to know you so that He can save you through me. You say I am evil, you say I am full of shit, I don't listen, I am whatsoever (I give up), but dude, I'm not even into the game and I already know whats gonna happen. I learn from others experience and from my own findings. You're in it for so long and yet you still can't see the shit you're in. I'm your ticket to salvation. Heed, and you have a chance back to the stereotypical life that I'm so sick of and I will never achieve it. I know that stereotypical life is what you want. Someone normal to love you, to grow old with you, a normal relationship, a normal marriage, a normal life. That's what you wanted right. I'm really so sick of all these. I apologise for losing my cool and ranting, but I give up easily. It's my flaw. It's also one of the reasons why my own relationship failed. I'm just here to rant, don't think you'll be reading this anyway.

May God bless you. He tried.

Wonder Girl hits the Cover page of The Straits Times, Singapore

2009-07-31T18:16:00.003+08:00

Wonder Girls
What: Five-member South Korean girl group
Consists of: (above, form left) Park Ye-eun, 20, Ahn SoHee, 17, Kim Yubin,21, Sun Mi, 17 and Min Sunye (leader),20
Genre: K-pop, dance-pop

This sexy five-member dance group debuted in 2007 with their single Irony.
With their saccharine voices, good looks and sultry dance moves, Wonder Girls grabbed mang peoples attention when they released bouncy track Tell Me (2007), which topped many music charts in Asia.

The cute video, which riffed comically on Wonder Woman, had clever choreography with simple yet sexy dance steps which became an instant hit with fans and the dance was widely imitated.

Shortly after this success, the quintet released a dance song Nobody (2008), which sparked a dance phenomenon in Asia.

Just like Tell Me, Nobody has infectious bubble-gum tune along with a repetitive chorus and simple synchronised dance steps. It sparked off a mass dance craze among fans across Asia, including Singapore, dancing to the catchy song in clubs, dance studios and even school camps.

Their latest album, The Wonder Years Trilogy is currently ranked seventh in the top 10 of the music retailer HMV’s Japanese/Korean album sales chart.

The group, bolstered by Asian success, have set their sights on the United States – They launched an English version of the song Nobody there last month.

Wonder Girls are working on their English album and will debut it in the US soon.

[Source: The Straits Times, Singapore]

From: http://wonderfulsworld.com/2009/07/23/wonder-girl-hits-the-cover-page-on-the-straits-times-singapore/

Been wanting to post it up since last week.

How An Engineer Fold A T-Shirt

2009-07-24T18:02:00.001+08:00

Candy Girl

2009-07-11T03:07:00.003+08:00

It's been a depressing week.

I had nightmares for 3 successive nights that led to me waking up, feeling down and demoralised. The first nightmare was so real that I almost broke down. The other two weren't much better.

The nightmares:
1. I dreamt that I was in NYJC that suspiciously resembled an army camp. I sneaked into the school so I wasn't registered on the school's list and couldn't attend the classes. I slept in the bunk though. (Why does a normal school has bunks?) I went to speak to the principal regarding some matters and he asked me to fill in a form. Only after filling in the form did I realise that he will countercheck the database for my name and find out that I'm not registered, so I tried to sneak out of school.

This dream gave me a very big wake up call that I have nowhere to go after National Service. It sorts of tells me that I am trying to escape from the clutches of NS and no university place waiting for me after that. Reality sucks.

2. I couldn't remember this dream as vividly, but the main idea was that I was aboard a ship with my family and the ship caught fire. I was stuck somewhere but yet somehow managed to operate a fire extinguisher. (We had Unit Safety Day last week and SCDF came down to let us try operating a fire extinguisher. It was my first time in 19 years of my life.) Then, I was running away from something.

No idea, I just felt demoralised after waking up.

3. I dreamt that someone that I knew (no one in particular, it was a nondescript person but I just know that I know this person) commited suicide and jumped off a building, right in front of me. I can't remember the rest of the details anymore.

Someone commit suicide right in your face. No explanations needed, right?

I've been reading a book titled Candy Girl, borrowed from my bunkmate. It's a pretty humorous read, but it gives me an insight on human mentality. How can someone actually live that kind of lifestyle and be happy about it. Humans are really bizarre.

hais. until next time.

iPod Touch (2nd Generation)

2009-06-28T01:33:00.002+08:00

WOOTS!

I just bought my very first iPod - iPod Touch (2nd Generation) 16GB!
$498 from EpiCentre, comes with screen protector, plastic casing and another pairbof earphones!
There goes my next 5 months' pay. =(

I'm so excited about the iPod Touch. Now I can watch Wonder Girls on the go, and its my very first iPod! I think everyone should get an iPod. It's a kind of a lifestyle thing. yeah.

I realised what my friends say about me is true - I'm an impulsive spender. I like to spend. Like, really. I enjoy the feeling of spending; it makes me feel in power. Well, since economic power is THE power in today's society, so I'm not really wrong. =P

Like, we were playing poker at Aloysius's house today. I won that hand, and all the money flowed to me. Jun Jin was like saying, "It's okay, we're helping consumer spending to boost the economy."
(Read: Keith will start spending anyhow when he got money and survives on air when he overspends, which he always do. Kindly pointed out by Hoiting. Thanks ah. I'm so glad my friends understand me so well. -.-" )

That explains why I'm always so poor. Like, f**king poor.

About my new camp, its FREAKING FAR.
It took me 1 hour 40 minutes to travel to the camp from home. Time well spent. <_<

However, unit life is quite the unexpected. It's more slack than I thought. Totally different experience from BMT. Well, maybe because it's the first week, we were having Unit Induction Programme, so maybe they were going easy on us. I know the training's gonna be tough, since I'm in Combat Engineers.

Lan Lan suck thumb.

But, looking on the brighter side, Armoured Engineers is the best among all the different Combat Engineers. No route march, no shellscrapes. =D

SoHee's birthday was on 27 June!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AHN SOHEE!
May you stay happy, healthy and successful!

99 Balloons

2009-06-20T23:41:00.001+08:00

Eliot was born with an undeveloped lung, a heart with a hole in it and DNA that placed faulty information into each and every cell of his body. However, that could not stop the living God from proclaiming Himself through this boy who never uttered a word.

Check out www.ninetynineballoons.com for more information about Eliot.

Wonder Girls crazy

2009-06-20T22:19:00.007+08:00

Keith ♥ 안소희 (Ahn SoHee) says:
go sing that song
at mcdonalds

cheesy boy says:
which son

Keith ♥ 안소희 (Ahn SoHee) says:
the one in your dp
personal msg i mean

cheesy boy says:
lol
anyway
Tmr going over to grandma's
you know right

Keith ♥ 안소희 (Ahn SoHee) says:
is it
see
nobody tell me
-.-

cheesy boy says:
i'm telling you now
tmr come!
then we all play mahjong

Keith ♥ 안소희 (Ahn SoHee) says:
lol
ok
before i go engineer

cheesy boy says:
go where?

Keith ♥ 안소희 (Ahn SoHee) says:
engineer
im posted to combat engineers

cheesy boy says:
oh!
is that fun
lol

Keith ♥ 안소희 (Ahn SoHee) says:
no

cheesy boy says:
btw
you're so Wondergirls crazy
Keith ♥ 안소희 (Ahn SoHee) says:
is it
see
nobody tell me
you mentioned 2 wondergirls song in 1 sentence

Keith ♥ 안소희 (Ahn SoHee) says:
LOL
HAHAHA
I DIDNT NOTICE THAT
you got history
paste the whole thing
i want to blog it

cheesy boy says:
Huh
you want me to send you the chatlog

Keith ♥ 안소희 (Ahn SoHee) says:
ya

(cheesy boy is Daniel, my cousin. The last time they came over to grandma's place, I went out with my friends because nobody told me they were coming over. "Nobody" and "Tell Me" are Wonder Girls' hit songs from their 3rd and 1st album respectively. As for the song in question, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oz31qzhswO0)

SAF BMTC Posting

2009-06-19T11:40:00.002+08:00

Comd SAF BMTC wishes you all the best in your future posting. (ya right.)

Your Posting Order is listed below.

1. You are posted to 38 SCE.
2. Your vocation is ARMD ENGR PNR.
(blah blah blah)
4. Special instruction: (blah blah blah) You are expected to stay in.

WHAT THE FUCK. ARMOUR ENGINEER!?
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO MY COMMAND SCHOOL? SISPEC?

"Armour engr does what a combat engineer does, clear and build obstacle all those stuffs. the difference is that field engineers use foot to travel whereby armour engineer travel on an armour vehicle"

So basically, its still saikang, chiong sua, lanlan 2 years be a man, just that I get to sit on a tank. Great.

Same camp as aloysius though. and my section mate same posting as me. hais.

on another note, went to celebrate sherman's birthday at dbl 0 last night. shan't elaborate more, but it was FREAKING FUNNY. DRUNK SHERMAN. HAHAHAHAHA.

damn sad now.

sian.

2009-06-15T20:45:00.007+08:00

Time flies. I have only one week of block leave left.

Spent my time holed up at home, watching Wonder Girls on YouTube.

I'm really obsessed with them . -.-"

I watched Ghosts of Girlfriend's Past already. It was not bad. I like the plot.

I want to watch Blood: The Last Vampire and Night At The Museum 2.

I've got guard duty tomorrow. Sigh.

Fighting!

Passing Out Parade

2009-06-12T18:18:00.004+08:00

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the trained... soldiers!"

POP LOH!

Yes! I finally graduated from my Basic Military Training. It's finally over!

Looking back, it's been 13 weeks.
说长不长, 说短不短.
It has been a turning point of my life.
I've learnt much from it.
All those memories;
those fun and crazy moments and all the even crazier trainings and "tekan" sessions.

I've learnt something from BMT. Not much, but at least I brought something home.

Discipline,
endurance,
mental strength,
physical fitness,
military knowledge.

I'm proud to say I have fulfilled my company's motto:

Everyday,
Stronger, Better, Faster.
Cougar

On the last day, there was this POP video made by my PC. It was very inspiring.
It reminded us that we are Cougar warriors, what we have gone through and what we will face ahead.
It ended with this quote that really speaks out to me:

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
Ralph Waldo Emerson US essayist & poet (1803 - 1882)

I am now no longer mainstream. I walk the sideline, and I have no idea which route to take. This totally speaks out to my heart. I shall try and make my own trail.

Well, was moody on sunday night. I would like to thank all my friends who reached out to me. That was really a moment of a friend in need. Thank you all, sincerely.

I have a lot of thoughts but I can't organise them. dang.

I am hungry. Continue next time.

IPPT

2009-06-07T01:21:00.002+08:00

I finally passed my Individual Physical Proficiency Test (IPPT)!

Okay, not my real IPPT, but my re-re-IPPT.

I've failed it since Day 1, but I've made drastic improvements okay!

I failed the final evaluation test, and the re-test for it. It was kinda disappointing since I failed by roughly 20 seconds.

I wasn't keen on redoing the re-re-test since it was only two days after my re-test and I'm still tired.

Furthermore, I was discouraged.

However, my coy wants to push us (there's a number of us who almost pass our IPPT) to pass so I had to go for it.

What's more, if I pass, I am considered "Completed BMT" and not "Attended BMT" and get to qualify for command school!

Long story short, I passed. Feeling kinda tired now, shan't elaborate on what happened that day.

Oh yeah, I have a lot of wants! This is a list of my current wants:

Ipod
Personal laptop
Driving licence
Learn Korean!

Anyone willing to sponsor me? =D

Ahn SoHee

2009-05-31T15:20:00.004+08:00

I'm into the Wonder Girls craze now and my favourite is none other than...

Ahn SoHee!

She's so cute! OMG.

Go watch her videos on YouTube!

"Waste Money!"

2009-05-29T09:44:00.003+08:00

Yoohoo! I'm back.

Well, nobody reads this anyway.

Early bookout! School 1 day off in lieu of Vesak Day. YES!

Gonna collect my SGC later. No point though, since I can't get into any universities at all.

Have I mentioned that i came home last week (or was it the week before that) to find 3 letters sitting on my table?

RSAF, NTU, SMU.

All 3 said the same things.

"Sorry, you have been rejected."

I know NTU and SMU sure reject one, waste my $10 and $15 respectively, but RSAF!?

They didn't even give me chance to go for computerized test!

Epic fail.

=(

Anyway, was a very crazy 2 weeks.

Last week was like super uber long can.

It was the same, 5 days, but it felt longer than that. So glad that I get to book out last week.

Ran into trouble on Monday or was it Tuesday.

Singled out for punishment.

For "attitude problem".

Seriously, I was just not standing properly.

Platoon Sergeant shouted that he's been noticing me since day one.

He didn't even know my name till the week before that.

and I was in Section One.

Joke.

Did almost 100 pushups that day, plus flutter kicks plus bent leg body twists plus running here and there like a dog, plus shouting to the whole platoon "i'm fucked up".

Seriously, I think this wouldnt have happened if that f*** up kaypo Erny wasn't there to poke his nosey nose into Platoon 1's affairs. and that I spoke the "politically correct" terms instead of answering honestly.

Honesty and integrity are not valued in the SAF, as far as I've seen.

It's not in the 7 core values anyway.

Erny asked why did I smile after I was punished and whether I likes it if he smiles at me when he punishes me.

Seriously, it doesn't matter.

No matter if he's smiling, laughing, crying or whatsoever, I still have to do the pushups. And I'm not bothered.

So I told him "doesn't really matter."

Free another 20 counts of 4.

Most f**** up moment in our 10 weeks in here.

Almost couldn't book out; I am supposed to get confinement all the way until POP, plus the guard duty after POP.

I didn't get the confinements but I got the guard duty.

Thank god.

I don't mind the guard duty, I just need to book out.

Had IPPT last friday.

Chin up - 6 (2 points)
Standing broad jump - 234 cm (4 points)
Sit up - 41 (5 points)
Shuttle run - 10:00 secs (5 points)
2.4 km run - 12:39 (0 point)

WTF!?

I passed everything except 2.4 km run. AGAIN.

I even did 6 chin ups okay!

Everything improved since the last IPPT.

Dang.

And when they announced the results, I thought I passed.

Since timing for 2.4km run in JC was 12:40 mins.

IPPT required 12:20 mins.

I shouted "YES!" and punched my fist into the air.

Everyone in the whole platoon looked at me.

"I passed!"

"No, you failed."

"Oh."

LOL.

Now I gotta do re-IPPT next Tuesday.

Hope I pass.

I want to enter command school.

Can't survive on recruit's pay.

Had SOC test yesterday.

I even fell down after the parallel bars cause I chionged too much.

Timing?

7:33 mins.

Improved by 1 sec from SOC time trial.

Timing to pass?

7:15 mins.

AHHHHH.

I am thinking maybe I'll ask if I can redo SOC.

SOC pass or fail will be reflected in the red booklet.

Gahh.

Had 16km route march the day before SOC.

It was DAMN LONG CAN.

Heng it was all on the road, and not the rocky mountain terrain.

Sang stupid songs.

Like, Pokemon.

We really sang that.

lol.

And now for the most epic fail this week.

I had a dream on Monday night.

It was a very stupid dream.

I dream't that a CSM (not my CSM) was asking me to wash the dishes.

And it was in this very huge funny looking thing. The dirty dishes were at the bottom of the right side and the washing part was on the left side. I wanted to bend over to reach for the dishes but he scolded me and say I had to fill up the whole thing with water so that the dishes will float to the top. I was telling him that it's wasting water and in turn, wasting money.

I was shouting at him "waste money, Waste Money, WASTE MONEY!"

At the 3rd one, I actually SHOUTED OUT LOUD. IN MY SLEEP.

Oh yeah, he was covering his ears.

I shouted until I woke up. and laughed at myself.

I thought I saw my buddy moved a bit. Then I went back to sleep.

Next morning I asked around, I actually woken up everyone in the bunk when I shouted.

Gavin had a faint recollection, while the Marc, furthest bed away from me, actually is fully aware of it.

Clement even wanted to come over to my bed and whack me.

hahas.

2 more weeks to POP!

CAN'T WAIT!

BLOCK LEAVE!!!

My Defining Moment in BMT

2009-05-03T18:04:00.002+08:00

Seven weeks ago, I entered hell.

For the past eighteen years of my life, I always felt that National Service was meaningless. Why do I have to waste two years of my time torturing myself when Singapore will never go to war? Even if Singapore goes to war one day, we still have the regulars in the Army to rely on.

Why us?
Why me?
Is it because I am a Singaporean, because the law dictates that I have to serve?

I was one unmotivated soldier then.

As I move into adjustment week, I had my first route march. I was taught to sing a few army songs so that I can take the pain off my mind.

However, I didn’t sing.

How am I supposed to raise my morale and march on with gusto when I am feeling down and moody? I wasn’t in the best of shape then. The food was horrible compared to the home cooked food that I grew up on; the weather was terrible especially since I slept in an air conditioned room every night and the daily physical trainings were killing me, a far cry from my relaxed civilian life. The army songs that I was taught were about pride in the army, pride in being an infantry. I didn’t feel the pride. I didn’t “feel” the song. I might as well have sung the Pokémon theme song to take the pain off my mind. At least, I grew up watching Pokémon. I “feel” Pokémon.

Then, someone started to lead a song that I have never heard before.

“Training to be soldiers, fight for our land.
Once in our life, two years of our time.
Have you ever wondered why must we serve?
Because we love our land and we want it to be free, to be free.”

I was stunned.

The song reached right into my heart.

Yes, I wondered. Not once, not twice, but always. I wondered, why must we serve?

The song was the answer to my question.

I “felt” the song.

I sang.

The pain was gone.

From that moment onwards, whenever I felt tired, wondered what my purpose here is and wanted to give up, I think of this song.

I am one motivated soldier now.

That route march was my defining moment in BMT.

Plastic Girl

2009-05-03T17:57:00.004+08:00

yo peeps, here's an update.

field camp's over, I got sandfly bites all over my arms. after a week of medication, it's alot better now. thought that i can recover, now im going back into the forest tomorrow for my situational test. just my luck.

been feeling rather moody in camp. kinda sian of ns already. thought ns will be more slack after field camp, but i've been having physical training daily. sian.

my computer broke down. again. im not going to repair it anymore. it deserves to rest. the processor is at least 5/6 years old already. time for it to move on.

my mum bought a new laptop. im using it now when she's not using.

however, my dota is abit cranky on this laptop. cant play dota at all yesterday, spent 3 hours trying to play. gave up, went to play facebook. visit my new restaurant in restaurant city. i am looking for tomatoes.

went to phuture last night with the same gang to celebrate ben's birthday. happy birthday, benjamin. saw plastic girl in phuture last night. it was crazy. ben's friend tried to dance with her but plastic girl's date kept shoving him off. it was kinda funny. hahas.

ns pay is not enough. i want to go command school so that my pay will rise. hahas.

gotta go now, update next time.

ciaos.

"Be There, Be Present"

2009-04-26T15:33:00.003+08:00

I'm back from field camp.

It was relatively slack, but still, I find it quite tough.

Weather was horrible, we even had to halt training temporarily as the temperature was too high.

A lot of people fell sick or fell out.

I was a little sick for one day.

I dug my own "grave".

I slept in it.

It was good.

I spent my birthday in field camp.

I was woken up on 4am and had to march in the dark on my birthday.

Then, it rained.

Heavily.

I had to march in heavy uniform and boots.

I didn't lose any items.

It was a very interesting experience.

I endured, I learnt, I saw more of my friends.

I also had heat rash/eczema.

It's super terrible; the itch and the looks of it.

Hope I get well soon.

A big thank you to all my friends who wished me happy birthday in one way or another, your kind thoughts are well appreciated.

A special shoutout to mel who gave me this birthday song that I think is very true.

Happy birthday to you,
You're 19 in the field.
Happy birthday to you,
hope you get a bath soon!

hahas.

oh yeah, I think my dad always gives me the most 'unique' phrases.

Be there, be present.

Tekong Cough

2009-04-18T03:02:00.006+08:00

Keith is now sick with the infamous "Tekong Cough".

He thought he was strong and healthy enough to withstand the illness.

Apparently, he thought wrong.

random update

2009-04-10T16:50:00.003+08:00

catching up a bit on reality.

NS has left me isolated from the real world.

people around me are all changing; growing up, getting into new relationships, moving on in their lives.

life really is changing.

ns has changed me drastically too.

it is indeed a turning point in life.

the only constant is change.

lets just hope everyone has a happy ending.

cheerios.

Personality Quiz

2009-04-04T02:35:00.003+08:00

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Signs

2009-03-29T17:52:00.001+08:00

Which is the way to God, please?

2009-03-05T22:13:00.002+08:00

"Which is the way to God, please?" Little Piglet asked.
A book for all those who won’t let themselves be fooled.
Alibri

Text: Michael Schmidt-Salomon
Illustrations: Helge Nyncke
Translation: Fiona Lorenz

Little Piglet and Little Hedgehog were sitting in the bathtub laughing with all their hearts, just as they always did when the sun was shining or when rain was falling onto the earth.

"I say, aren’t we doing fine!” said Little Piglet.

"Couldn’t be any better!" Little Hedgehog answered and stretched out its arms as far as it could. "I could just embrace the whole world!”

"Brilliant idea!" Little Piglet replied. "But first, let’s go and pick some apples. I’m ravenous.”

"Good," said Little Hedgehog.

Just as the two of them had stepped out of the house, they noticed something strange. Overnight, somebody had pasted a poster on the wall of their cottage."He, who knows not God, is missing something!” was written onto it. Little Piglet read it to Little Hedgehog who hadn’t paid all that much attention at school.

"Piglet, do you know God?" Little Hedgehog asked.

"Nope,” Little Piglet said.

"I don’t either,” said Little Hedgehog.

This scared the two of them a lot. They hadn’t even known they were missing anything! So, they started out to go looking for God.

"Which is the way to God, please?" Little Piglet asked every animal they met on their way. But nobody had ever heard of a God, neither Goose nor Rabbit, nor Mole. But cunning Fox at last knew the answer.

"I once heard some humans quarrelling about God," said Fox. "They’ve built him some grand houses up on Mount Temple.”

"What were they quarrelling about?” asked Little Hedgehog.

"I think they can’t agree on the house Mister God is actually living in”, replied Fox and added quietly: "If you ask me, you should rather not go up there! The people up there are quite crazy!”

Little Piglet and Little Hedgehog, well behaved as they were, thanked Fox for his good advice. But they were so curious that they climbed the mountain despite the warning. They just had to find out what they were missing!

As soon as they had clambered the mountain they discovered three huge houses that were standing side by side. They had never before seen anything as enormous.

"This Mister God must be gigantic if he needs houses as big as that!” said Little Hedgehog. And, it also became scared: "Piglet, don’t you think we should better go back home?”

"Balderdash, Hedgehog!" said Little Piglet. "Now that we’ve come so far we should meet the Mister!”

That sounded very courageous, but secretly, Little Piglet was a little bit scared, too. It just didn’t want to show Little Hedgehog.

Little Hedgehog and Little Piglet approached the first house. A man with a funny hat and long black curls was standing in front of it.

"Which is the way to God, please?” Little Piglet asked.

"This is the Lord’s Temple, a synagogue”, explained the man. And he knew what he was talking about, because the man was a "rabbi”, a Jewish scholar.

"Oh, fine!” said Little Hedgehog. "Is the Mister at home? May we have a short talk with him? It won’t take long…”

"Only if your mother is a Jewess!” replied the rabbi.

"Jewess?” asked Little Hedgehog. "My mummy is a hedgehogess!"

"And mine is a sow,” added Little Piglet.

"I’m sorry!” said the rabbi. "Only Jews are allowed to enter the temple during this ceremonial procedure. And Little Piglets can never enter!”

"That’s not nice at all!" said Little Piglet.

"God, the Almighty, is not nice!” explained the rabbi. "He is all knowing and all gracious, but he can also become quite angry when you don’t follow his Ten Commandments!”

And, in order to prove that, he told them the story of the great Flood.

"One day”, said the rabbi, "God, the Lord, was so much annoyed by the humans that he decided to destroy all life on Earth.”

"All life?” asked Little Piglet, startled. "All human babies, all grannies and all animals? Piglets, hedgehogs, butterflies and little guinea pigs too?”

"Yes, all life,” replied the rabbi. "Except for one couple of every species. Noah, whom God had taken to, gathered these species on his ship, Noah’s Ark. Then God let it rain for so long until all the other humans and animals had drowned.”

Little Hedgehog and Little Piglet fell silent for a while. They couldn’t possibly imagine so many drowned babies, grannies, piglets, hedgehogs and guinea pigs.

"That is so very mean!” Little Piglet thought to himself and he decided to stomp on Mister God’s foot very hard if he should ever meet him.

"What evil thing had the humans done so that they would have to be drowned?” Little Hedgehog wanted to know.

"They prayed to other gods!” answered the rabbi.

"Oh, so there are other gods too?” Little Hedgehog marvelled.

"No!” said the rabbi. "The humans only imagined that. Actually, these gods exist just as little as ghosts striped blue and green …”

"Oh,” said Little Piglet. It thought for a while. "If humans can imagine gods," it spoke slowly, "how do we know that you don’t imagine your God, too?"

That was a really good question, Little Piglet! But unfortunately, the rabbi didn’t appreciate it at all. He became awfully angry and began ranting so loud that Little Hedgehog and Little Piglet ran away as fast as they could.

"I bet he only invented the story to scare us!" panted Little Piglet while they were running away.

"But who could be so stupid to believe a story like that?” "Well, I certainly don’t believe in a God who drowns little guinea pigs, just because some people see ghosts!” said Little Hedgehog.

And so, Hedgehog and Piglet went to the second house.
"Come to me all ye who are weak and heavy laden!” said the man who stood in front of the house. He was wearing a funny purple cap on his head and a strange garment that reached to the floor.

"Which is the way to God, please?” Little Piglet asked the man. It turned out he was a real bishop which is why he had to know what he was talking about.

"This is God’s house, a church!" the bishop explained. "When we gather in the name of the Lord, he is in our midst!”

"Fine!” said Little Hedgehog.

So they walked into the church. It was quite dark inside and it also smelled kind of weird.

"Now, where is this Mister God?” asked Little Piglet.

The bishop pointed to the front. Little Hedgehog and Little Piglet stared at a frightening half naked man whose hands and feet were fixed to a cross with pointed nails. On his head he was wearing a crown of thorns and his body was covered with blood everywhere.

"Ouch!” said Little Hedgehog. "Doesn’t that hurt awfully?"

"God the Lord sent us his son, Jesus Christ, who died for our sins on the cross!” the bishop explained.

"Oh, the Mister wouldn’t have had to do that,” Little Piglet said. "Little Hedgehog and I have always been good…”

"The Lord washed away our sins with Jesus’ blood!" the bishop said.

"With blood? Yuck!” Little Piglet replied.

"And I always thought you should wash yourself with soap,” Little Hedgehog wondered.

"God gave us good news: if we follow him, the kingdom of heaven will be awaiting us!” the bishop said.

"Well, the people here aren’t looking very happy!” Little Piglet thought to himself. "They rather look as though they were moping miserably!” No, Little Piglet certainly didn’t want to stay here any longer. But then it discovered something that appealed to him:

Lots of cookies! They were lying on a big, golden plate which was on the table at the front. And, because Little Piglet was still hungry, it popped a few of them right into its mouth.

But that didn’t appeal to the bishop at all! "For God’s sake, what are you doing there!” he cried out furiously.

"I’m eating some cookies because I am so hungry.”

"But these aren’t cookies, it is the body of Christ!” the bishop ranted. He pointed to the man on the cross: "It is the flesh of Jesus, who sacrificed himself for us!”

Oh, that made Little Piglet very sick! It loved to eat apples and carrots, and mushrooms too, but not a man who had died so many years ago! Quickly, it spat out the strange cookies and took Little Hedgehog by the hand. "Away here immediately!” it cried. "These are cannibals! If they even eat Mister God’s son, who knows what they’ll do to little hedgehogs and piglets…”

After they had left the church, Little Piglet and Little Hedgehog actually didn’t feel like having a look at the third house. On the other hand, they really wanted to find out what they were missing. So they gathered all their courage and took a last chance.

A man with a full beard stood in front of the third house. He had pulled a cloth over his head, which reminded Little Hedgehog a little of his grandmother Frieda. Although granny Frieda didn’t wear a beard, of course.

"Which is the way to God, please?” Little Piglet asked.

"In this mosque you may encounter Allah, the Lord”, the man said. He would know, because he was a "mufti”, an Islamic scholar. "Come in!” said the mufti.

"I’m curious about what awaits us here," Little Hedgehog whispered as they entered the mosque through the huge door. Little Piglet nodded his head in agreement.

"In order to get to know God, meaning Allah, you have to become Muslims!” the mufti explained.

"And how do you become a Muslim?” Little Hedgehog asked curiously.

"Well, first you would have to be able to repeat the Islamic statement of faith”, the mufti explained. "And you must faithfully follow Allah’s Commandments. First and foremost, you must pray five times a day!”

"Five times?" Little Piglet asked.

"Yes", the mufti answered. "And, before praying, you must always wash yourselves thoroughly!

”
"Wash myself five times a day?" Little Hedgehog rolled his eyes. "That means washing myself thirty-five times a week, and one-hundred and fifty times a month!" Little Hedgehog would have liked to calculate how many times that would be per year, but that was too difficult for him.

"Dear me, does Mister God have a mania for cleanliness?” Little Piglet asked himself. To climb into the bathtub with Hedgehog once a week was fair enough, but not thirty- five times!

"I will certainly not pray five times a day!" Little Hedgehog said. "I do have other things to do!”

"Then you cannot become a Muslim!” the mufti explained.

"Well, then I’ll just let it be!” Hedgehog said, shrugging his shoulders. "Shouldn’t be all that bad…”

"Not all that bad!?" The mufti’s eyes were blazing. "If you don’t obey the Lord, you will end in hell and roast in hell’s fire forever!”

"Just because we haven’t washed ourselves often enough?” Little Piglet wondered.

"Because you have violated the Commandments that Allah gave to Prophet Mohammed!” the mufti said.

"Well, who says that your Mohammed didn’t just make that up?" Piglet asked. "Maybe he actually was no prophet, but was just making fun of you…”

Oh, Little Piglet had better not have uttered that! Because now the mufti’s feelings were hurt.

"You goddamned non-believers!” he screamed and madly ran towards Little Piglet and Little Hedgehog. They both ran to the exit of the mosque as fast as they could.

But, oh dear: Outside, the rabbi and the bishop were already waiting for them.

"Seize them!” the rabbi cried." They have blasphemed!”

"And they have defiled the body of Christ!” the bishop roared.

"And they have also insulted the prophet!” the mufti screamed, who just came running out of the mosque.

Little Hedgehog and Little Piglet were rigid with fear.

"Uh-oh, I believe we’re for it now!” Little Piglet stammered.

"They are possessed by the devil, but I’ll exorcise him soon enough!” the bishop cried.

"No you don’t! We’ve exorcised demons long before you came into existence!” the rabbi replied.
"The prophet was the first one to show how to handle non-believers properly!” answered the mufti. "Anyway, our hell is a lot hotter than yours!”

"What cheek!” the bishop ranted and hit the mufti on the head with the bible. "Our hell is the most, most worst!”

And so, a serious argument arose among the three servants of God. During which they began bashing each other so wildly, they didn’t notice Little Hedgehog and Little Piglet secretly sneaking away.

When they had arrived back home again, Little Hedgehog said: "Piglet, now I know what we were missing the whole time…”

"What would that be?” Little Piglet asked.

"Without God we had no fear!” said Hedgehog.

"That’s right!” Piglet said. "But did you miss the fear?"

"Nope!” Little Hedgehog replied. "Mister God with his strange servants can honestly stay away from me!”

Little Hedgehog and Little Piglet once again had a look at the mysterious poster.

"I think there is just one word too much!” Little Piglet said, and scored out the word "not” with a thick pen. "It should actually say: ‘He, who knows God, is missing something!’ Namely up here…” Little Piglet laughingly tapped his forehead.

Little Hedgehog nodded approvingly: "The people from Temple Mount really are crazy! I believe there actually is no God! And if there were, he certainly wouldn’t be living in these ghost castles!”

"Spot on, you’re absolutely right, Hedgehog!" Little Piglet said. "But what are we going to do with the poster now? Shall we leave it hanging there?”

"No!” answered Little Hedgehog. "I have a far better idea!”

He tore the poster off the wall and folded lots and lots of tiny paper planes out of it.

Then, Little Hedgehog and Little Piglet let the planes fly really high into the sky.

Hey, that was huge fun! Finally, the two of them could once again laugh with all their hearts. Just as they had always done when the sun was shining or when the rain was falling onto the earth…

And the morale of the fable is:
If you don’t know God, be glad about this.

P.S.

Just in case someone might follow:
"Who knows not God, must be quite hollow!”
A secret I will break to you
(And you may tell others about it, too)

The faith in God around our globe
Is just bad magic, just a joke
Rabbis, priests and muftis, too
Are "naked apes” like me and you
Only, they see floating "ghosts"
And wear quite funny caps and clothes
They couldn’t fool our Piglet, when:
It laughed and laughed at all of them…

Michael Schmidt-Salomon, Dr. Phil., born 1967, is a free-lance writer, philosopher and musician and, among other things, acts as spokesperson of the board of the Giordano-Bruno-Foundation. His publications at Alibri Verlag are: Erkenntnis aus Engagement (1999); Stollbergs Inferno (Philosophischer Roman, 2003), Manifest des Evolutionären Humanismus. (2005, 2006); Aufklärung ist Ärgernis… Karlheinz Deschner: Leben – Werk – Wirkung (editor, with Hermann Gieselbusch, 2006); Die Kirche im Kopf. Von "Ach, Herrje!" bis "Zum Teufel!" (with Carsten Frerk, 2007).

Michael Schmidt-Salomon lives in the Eifel near Trier with his "post familial family” (2 biological + 3 kindred children + 3 further adults). For further information, please visit: www.schmidt-salomon.de/

Helge Nynke, born 1956, has a diploma in design, is an illustrator and an author. He has illustrated, written or invented countless school, specialised and children’s books, games and animated films for children, as well as critical essays, scripts, cabaretistical and free texts for adults. Beside these activities, he has also found the time to design works of art or refurbish children’s hospitals. The father of four and multiple creator of ideas lives and works in Mühlheim/Main.

This book was sponsored by the Giordano-Bruno-Foundation, www.giordano- bruno- stiftung.de
Alibri Verlag
www.alibri.de
Aschaffenburg
Copyright 2007 by Alibri Verlag, Postfach 100 361, 63703 Aschaffenburg
All rights reserved, also those concerning the reproduction of extracts, the photomechanical reproduction, the fabrication of micro-films, the storage in electronic systems as well as translation.
Cover: Helge Nyncke

Keith

2009-03-05T15:51:00.011+08:00

From Urban Dictionary:

1. keith

a sweet ass muther trucker lookin for a good time that is not afraid of anything.
origin: 15th century Scotland

That dude is a huge keith.

2. Keith

A gorgeous man you are in love with who flirts with you consistently, in a misleading way, but refers to you as a sister/member of the family.

Keith: you are such a wonderful woman, you came into my life at such an important time, you are the best little sister, I love you.
Woman: (fuck) I love you too...

3. Keith

is some one who is smart sexy strong fast a ladys man and overall good at everything he tries.

wow that guy is such a keith i wanna do him so bad.

4. Keith

is someone who is strong, sexy, a flirt, super fly, and hella smart. is to be known that he has a big thing. is someone famous and gets all the ladies because he's a ladies man

Man i wish i was a keith!

Everybody wants to be a keith!

5. Keith

A small person that is extremely adept to stealth,stamina and being ninja or be a person for moral guidance

Ex.1 Dude how can you sneak up on me you Keith.
Ex.2 thank you for listening to what i have to say,your such a Keith.

6. Keith

A man who gets drunk and tries to snog big breasted employees at the christmas party and only has one testicle.

I cant belive he was such a "keith" last night

7. keith

Verb. 1. To scam, trick, rip off or otherwise dupe.

Noun. 2. An extremely sketchy or shady individual. 3. A piece of shit.

1a. We should keith that dumb ass over there with that $20 dollar bill hanging out of his pocket.

1b. I got keithed last night when I walked to my car and found it on blocks.

1c. After I bought that shitty magazine subscription from that pushy door-to-door salesman, I felt like I got keithed.

2. If you keep staring at girls with that shady grin when you are trying to hit on them you are going to turn into a keith.

3. I went to the can and dropped a huge keith.

8. Keith

Reference to cocaine. Named after Keith Hernandez of the 1986 New York Mets who was rumored to be a cocaine user.

You got any Keith?

9. Keith

One who likes someone but is too much of a pussy to tell them how they feel.

Jim: Hey Mike you shacked up with Jessica yet?
Mike: No, not yet, I dont think the time is right.
Jim: Stop being such a fucking Keith and got talk to her.

10. keith

To alter a substance.

Jeremy just keithed my dr. P by putting malt vinegar in it!

11. keith

Keith is a late european name that originated as a name used to insult a man who has a high pitched voice who coulnd fight for shit. The name later evolved in to a word in french meaning homo sexual.in other words a person called a keith is a Faggot, pussy with a girly voice that cant fight for shit.

What the hell your such a keith.

LOL.

Mambo!

2009-03-05T14:03:00.003+08:00

omg.

it's the best night I ever had so far!

mambo's freaking awesome, i think i belong there!
too bad i can't follow the moves. so fast!

can't believe how overcharged drinks are.
we bought johnny walker black label at phuture at around $190+.
we bought the same drink at concorde centre for $58 only.
WHAT THE HELL.
x4 leh!
EAT MY MONEY! !#$%

but still, it was the most awesome-est fun night I've had!

NEXT WEEK.
MY LAST WEEK.
EVERYBODY COME FOR CCA!

2009-03-04T04:24:00.001+08:00

results are coming out this week.

im dead.

There's always a first time for everything.

2009-02-12T17:46:00.004+08:00

oh my gawd.

what a crazy night, i swear.

i just took a trip out of earth and back again.

i finally understand how it feels like.

that lamborghini was really fxxking awesome.

oh yeah, shout out to hoiting!
happy birthday!
all the best in all you do okay!

oh yeah,
my driving test date is booked already.
im having lessons daily now.
its like a express/intensive course la.
hope i can pass on my first attempt and get my licence!
then i can go zooming around! =D

... but no car.
DAMN.

Religion is Bullshit

2009-02-12T17:41:00.002+08:00

Here's a lil something for all ya atheists. Enjoy. ;)

God bless George Carlin.

White Screen Of Death

2009-02-07T01:05:00.003+08:00

I dropped my SE W850i down 3 steps on my way home today and it went 'piak, piak, piak.' I thought as usual, it will survive all calamity but I was wrong. =(

the screen's dead, now all I see is white.

I can still play songs, call out, answer calls and all, but when the screen's dead, I can't search for contacts, set alarm, tell the time and all. all I can do is wait for people to call in or I call out if I know their number, which my leaky memory doesn't.

feels like a pager to me. -.-"

so, i need a new phone. any suggestions?

here's what im looking for:

preferably Sony Ericsson
able to play songs
without camera

yeah actually thats the basics that i need. any recommendations just tell me alright.

oh yeah, and im changing mobile plans soon, so there's gonna be an equipment purchase that im not gonna use. anybody wants to buy their handphone through me, drop me a message.

toodles!

2009-02-03T23:32:00.002+08:00

so this is all how it goes.

i'm in the wrong too, i know.

but. why did we end up until like this?

im not good with words.

im very good at avoiding situations, running away from all these problems.

i feel like i've hurt someone who i should have never hurt.

im sorry is all i can say.

now hate me for all you like, curse me, scold me, berate me.

my only hope is that you can find closure, seek solace, and move on.

what is love?

i should be gay.

no fate.

2009-02-01T06:18:00.001+08:00

Love finds us when we least expect it - they leave the same way too.

omg i did it.

2009-01-30T03:31:00.001+08:00

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i did it.

*hopes for the best*

toodles!

Privacy

2009-01-28T23:28:00.001+08:00

damn it.

i really live in a dysfunctional family.

i want a place of my own.

xxxx it all.

710

2009-01-28T21:49:00.007+08:00

WHAT IS A 710 ?

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.

We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred-ten?' She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one..' She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there.

The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked 'is there a 710 on this car?' She pointed and said, 'Of course, its right there.'

If you're not sure what a 710 is look below!